Child's Way/Volume 11/Issue 5/Text
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[Page i]
child’s way
november - december 1979
LOVE
honesty
deceit
religion
COLOR
Bahá’í
charity
indifference
patriotism
FRIENDS
[Page ii]
Child's Way is a publication of the National
Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of the United
States.
Child's Way is published bi-monthly in January, March, May, July, September and November in Doylestown, Pennsylvania.
Subscriptions: U.S.A. $5.00 a year, 2 years for $9.50. Foreign $6.50 a year, 2 years for $12.00 (U.S. funds). Single copies $1.00 (U.S. funds). Subscriber and business corres- pondence should be addressed to: Child's Way/Bahá’í Subscriber Service 415 Linden Avenue Wilmette, Illinois 60091
Manuscripts and other editorial correspondence should be addressed to: Child's Way/Radpour 6446 Ridge Lake Road Hixon, Tennessee 37343.
Manuscripts should be typewritten and double spaced throughout. Children's contributions of art are preferably line drawings of black on white. Children's contributions are welcome. however, in any form. Return postage should be included if manuscript is to be returned.
Copyright 1979 National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of the United States, World Rights Reserved. Printed in the U.S.A.
Child's Way EDITORIAL COMMITTEE: Mary K. Radpour, Mildred McClellan, Rita Floden Leydon, Janet Richards.
EDITOR: Mary K. Radpour ART DIRECTOR: Rita Floden Leydon
Dear Children[edit]
Dear Children,
Have you ever been tempted to get some help with a job you should do yourself? Like talking your little sister into washing the dishes for a piece of gum? Or taking a peek at your friend's paper in school?
The reason we don't do these things is that they are dishonest, and dishonesty, in the long run, hurts us most. We never develop our own strengths if we depend on others all the time; that's part of what it means to independently investigate truth. This issue of Child's Way is all about that won- derful principle of the Bahá’í teachings. Can you see it in the stories?
Let me know.
Love,
your
your
Editor
[Page 1]
WHAT’S INSIDE[edit]
Could a tiny baby be a King? Find out on page 4.
Want to tour the world and stay in bed? Find out how on page 12.
What does Joy hear? Can you hear it too? Find out on page 17.
What can you do with tags from tea bags? Discover it on page 23.
Does pride make for a problem? See page 24.
Can you get dollars out of dandelions? Learn how on page 27.
| Cover by Rita Leydon | |
| Inside Cover - Editorial | |
| What’s Inside? | 1 |
| Letters From Our Friends | 2 |
| A Visit to a King, | 4 |
| :a story by | |
| :Elizabeth Filstrup | |
| Kangaroo Child, | 12 |
| :a poem by Debbi Bley | |
| Pinhole Camera, | 13 |
| :a science and craft activity | |
| Joy-in-Pigtails, | 17 |
| :a story by | |
| :Janet Cutler Bixby | |
| Collections, | 23 |
| :by Janet Richards | |
| Legend of the Proud King, | 24 |
| :by Mary E. O’Brien | |
| Reader’s Registry, | 27 |
| :a book review by | |
| :Debbi Bley | |
| Parents’ Page, | 28 |
| :an editorial | |
| Back Cover photo by Robert Harris |
Illustration Credits:
pgs. 4-11, Elizabeth Filstrup
pg. 12, Suzi Ru
pgs. 13-16, Rita Leydon
pgs. 17-22, Linda Orlando
pg. 23, Donald Boone-Wallis
pgs. 24-26, Karen Adams
pgs. 28-29, Rita Leydon
[Page 2]
Letters From Our Friends[edit]
Dear Child’s Way,
Hi! My name is Cecilia Amaya. I am 4 years old. I love to play with my blocks and I try to make buildings that look like some of our Bahá’í buildings and temples. My mama shows me pictures of them and I try to make them. This one looks like the International Archives Building.
Dear Child’s Way,
I liked the story you had about Betterme. I love Betterme. I want him to forgive me if I’m bad. I give him presents that are prayers. He’s in my heart. He’s Bahá’u’lláh. I drew a picture of Betterme.
Love, Jamal Bookwalter, age 5, Honduras
Dear Child’s Way,
My name is Gloria and I live in Holcomb, N.Y., and I am 9 years old. I have two brothers -- Karim, age 7, and Ramin, age 1. I love Child’s Way. Sometimes I read it before I go to bed. One of my hobbies is reading, and one of the best books I read is Child’s Way.
Love, Gloria Bahá’í
Here is a poem composed in honor of the International Year of the Child by our friend Mary Wolter, who has a very youthful heart in spite of her 80 years of age!
Love that child; Let him see Your love for him Will always be.
Teach that child; Help him to grow, His spiritual worth In time to know.
Train that child,
That he may be
In love with
All humanity.
[Page 3]
Angela Gibson, of Kaduna, Nigeria, sent us the following story and picture:
Once there lived a girl called Anne. Anne was good-looking but she was naughty and spoiled. One day she was walking in the woods grumping because all her friends were sick in bed. Then she saw a beautiful pond and she wanted to see herself in the pond. So she went over to the pond and to her surprise she saw an ugly face instead of her own face. The face was really ugly; it had grey hair, purple cheeks, a crooked nose and long big ears, and also black eyes that seemed to laugh and say, “It is you!”
Anne stared and said, “It is not me.” The face laughed and said, “It is you because if you feel bad inside, that is how your soul will look.” The ugly face looked sadly at Anne and said softly, “Yes, it is you.”
Anne turned and walked homewards sad and ashamed. Next day she was still depressed. Then she had an idea; a real big idea. She took a basket and started to pick apples. Then she went to the shops to buy some toys and books. Then she went home and wrapped all the toys and books. And next she went visiting all her friends and gave them a present and some apples. And when she had visited all her friends, she went to the pond again and looked in, but she no longer saw the ugly face, but her own, and she smiled.
[Page 4]
A VISIT TO A KING[edit]
by Elizabeth M. Filstrup
Many years ago there lived in Persia a holy man who glowed with a heavenly light. His name was Shaykh Ahmad.
Shaykh Ahmad had a great Secret to tell the people. It was time for a Prophet of God, a Manifestation of God, to come to the world.
Shaykh Ahmad travelled everywhere telling anyone who would listen of the good news. He was so close to God his face glowed and people came from far and near to hear him.
In another city lived a king. In Persia, kings were called “Sháh”. Fath ‘Alí Sháh heard about Shaykh Ahmad and his Message and wanted to meet him.
He wrote a letter to Shaykh Ahmad and asked to see him.
Now, if the President of your country or a king asked you to visit, you would go at once, wouldn’t you? Well, Shaykh Ahmad didn’t go — right away, that is. He wrote the King thanking him for the invitation but said he would come later, if God was willing. Being close to God, he didn’t want to do anything unless God wanted him to do so.
Thus he continued with his work of telling people to be awake so that they would see the Prophet of God when He came to earth.
[Page 5]
--BLANK--
[Page 6]
Sometime later, he decided the time was right to visit the King. He travelled to the King’s city, called Ṭihrán.
The King was so happy that Shaykh Ahmad was coming and sent out a group of important people to bring Shaykh Ahmad to the palace.
[Page 7]
The King did all he could to make Shaykh Ahmad comfortable. Everyone felt honored to have such a holy man in the palace of the King.
During the day Shaykh Ahmad talked with the King, listened to music and poetry, and ate rich food.
[Page 8]
However, at night, Shaykh Ahmad would kneel and turn his face toward another part of the city and pray.
A Great Happening was about to take place in the beautiful home of Mírzá Buzurg. Mírzá Buzurg was a trusted official serving the King and the King’s government. He was highly respected by all who knew him.
[Page 9]
One morning at dawn, Shaykh Ahmad fell on his knees and thanked God for allowing him to be in the city at the time of the Great Happening!
A maidservant had just announced to Mírzá Buzurg the birth of a beautiful baby Son. It was the dawn of November 12, 1817.
This Baby would come to be known as Bahá’u’lláh, the Glory of God. The Prophet of God had come to bring joy and peace to the world!
[Page 10]
--BLANK--
[Page 11]
Shaykh Ahmad longed to spend the remainder of his days at the feet of this beautiful Baby.
However, his mission from God was to prepare the people to recognize the Prophet of God and with a longing glance at the city, Shaykh Ahmad continued on his way.
Shaykh Ahmad had not come just to visit an earthly king. He had come to honor the greatest of kings — a Heavenly King — Bahá’u’lláh!
[Page 12]
kangaroo child[edit]
by Debbi Bley
A kangaroo mother and her baby ’roo went searching for long, tender grass to chew. The young one snuggled down, safe inside a silken pocket in Mother’s hide (the easiest way for a youngster to ride over the Australian countryside).
The morning sun shone as they hopped along, humming a kind of kangaroo song, ’til tall grass was ’round them, and baby ’roo said, “I’m hungry! Please, isn’t it time to be fed?” So Mother pulled grass up, lowered her head -- and served her little one breakfast in bed!
©1979 Deborah L. Bley
used with permission
[Page 13]
Pinhole Camera[edit]
adapted for Child’s Way by Debbie Bley and Rita Leydon. from Kodak publication no. AA-5: HOW TO MAKE AND USE A PINHOLE CAMERA
A pinhole camera is a very simple camera. It gets its name from the tiny hole through which light passes to make an image on the film.
You can make a pinhole camera that uses a film cartridge of 126 type film (the kind used in instamatic cameras). This kind of pinhole camera is easy to use because you can load and unload the film in daylight, make at least 12 exposures without changing the film, and get the film developed by a local photo store. The construction details are below. Read them through carefully before you begin.
ASSEMBLE YOUR MATERIALS:
- one cartridge of size 126 film
- one piece of thin BLACK cardboard (such as posterboard) cut to 1 1/4" x 5 3/4" (it can be sprayed with FLAT black paint)
- one piece of rigid black cardboard 1 1/2" x 2 3/4" with a 1/2" square opening cut in the center (you could make this piece by laminating 3 pieces of the thin cardboard, in which case you need white glue)
- one piece of heavy aluminum foil, 1" square
- one piece of black paper, 1" square
- one wooden tongue depressor
- two strong rubber bands
- #10 sewing needle
- black masking tape (from office or art supply store)
- ruler with 1/16" gradations
- X-acto knife
- pencil
continued on next page:
[Page 14]
CONSTRUCTION DETAILS:[edit]
1. Measure and mark the large piece of black cardboard into four sections each 1 7/16 wide.
2. Using the X-acto knife, score each line being careful not to cut all the way through the cardboard.
3. Fold along the scored lines into a box shape and tape the edges together. This will be the camera box.
4. Using only the point of the needle make a very tiny pinhole in the center of the aluminum foil. Be sure the foil is resting on a flat hard surface when you do this.
5. Center the pinhole in the foil over the square opening in the small piece of cardboard. Tape the foil to the cardboard along all four edges so there will be no light leaks.
6. Make a flap to cover the pinhole out of the 1 square black paper. Tape it firmly along the top only. (You will lift this flap to take your pictures.) A small piece of tape should be used to hold the bottom in place between exposures.
7. Tape the cardboard with the pinhole to the camera box. Use lots of tape to ensure that there are no light leaks.
[Page 15]
8. Put the camera box into the grooved recess in the square opening of the film cartridge. This should be a tight fit so that no light can get into the camera.
rubber bands
9. Use the two rubber bands to hold the camera together.
10. Trim the tongue depressor so that it will fit like a key into the round opening in the cartridge to advance the film. Place the camera in front of you so that the side of the cartridge with the LABEL on it is toward you, and the round opening for advancing the film is on your RIGHT. The wooden key should fit in this round opening.
11. To advance the film, turn the key counterclockwise. The yellow paper that you see in the small window on the label side should move. The film has borders and numbers printed on it. Turn the key slowly. The numbers will appear. Each number appears several times like this:
3 · 3 · 3 · 3 · 3 2 · 2 · 2 · 2 · 2 1 · 1 · 1 · 1
Turn the key until the third and fourth numbers in each series show in the window. The film is now in the proper position for taking a picture.
12. Advance the film in the same manner after each exposure.
continued on next page:
[Page 16]
TAKING PICTURES:[edit]
The camera must be very still while the exposure is being made. Try taping it to tables, chairs and fences. Holding it in your hand is not recommended. Look over the top of the camera to aim. When you are ready, lift the black flap to expose the pinhole and then tape it closed again. It is a good idea to make several exposures of the same subject using different times until you get a “feel” for your camera. Below is a chart with suggested exposure times for several Kodak films.
| BRIGHT SUN | CLOUDY BRIGHT | |
|---|---|---|
| Tri-X Pan | ½ – 1 second | 2 – 4 seconds |
| Verichrome Pan | 2 seconds | 8 seconds |
| Kodacolor X | 3 seconds | 12 – 15 seconds |
Don’t be discouraged if it takes some practice to get good pictures! It might help you to keep a notebook and for each picture write down the film used, the type of light, the exposure and the subject. When you get your pictures back from being developed, you’ll know what worked best and why! Have fun!
SELFPORTRAIT
MY HOUSE & MY CAR
THESE PICTURES WERE MADE WITH A PINHOLE CAMERA & VERICHROME PAN FILM.
[Page 17]
JOY-in-PIGTAILS[edit]
by Janet Cutler Bixby
It was a bright, shiny, new day, exactly like a first day should be. For Joy Emory, it was the first day of school, and she was very excited. She was five whole years old and she was going to kindergarten.
“Is my Joy-in-Pigtails all ready for school?” asked her grandpa, pulling one of her long braids as she ran by his chair on the porch.
“Yes, and I have to hurry,” she said. Singing, she skipped down the steps and ran to the car where her mother was just unlocking the door.
“Now, I want you to be a good girl,” her mother said as they drove toward school. “Remember the things I’ve been telling you and all the things you’ve been learning from Carol in your Bahá’í children’s class.”
“We’re supposed to be happy,” Joy told her mother. “‘Abdu’l-Bahá said.”
“Well, you won’t have any trouble with that,” said her mother. “You’re that most of the time. I just hope you won’t be happy too loudly.”
[Page 18]
The classroom was bigger than Joy remembered it, and the teacher seemed much bigger and older than her mamma, but by the time her mother said goodbye, she was busy and happy with playtime. Then, after a while, the teacher sat everybody down and taught them a song. That was fun, too, but Joy had to try very hard to keep herself from starting too soon or stopping too late.
“You’ll have to learn that there’s a time for singing,” her teacher said, frowning a little. She didn’t like her teacher to look that way.
After the singing was milk and cookies, and then there was a story. Joy liked the story, but not enough to sit still. Besides, there was so much going on outside the window. Right in the middle of the story, a robin came and lit on the tree, right close.
“Look, look!” she squealed, bouncing up from her seat.
“Joy!” said the teacher crossly. “Sit down. You mustn’t interrupt while we’re having storytime.” Joy sat down. She closed her mouth tight to squash the excitement and tried to listen, but she didn’t feel good.
[Page 19]
After lunch and going outside, it was naptime. Joy hated naps. She was never tired. She tried to lie still, but something inside her kept making her move.
“Maybe I could sing myself to sleep,” she thought. She began very softly, but the song got happier and happier, and louder and louder. All of a sudden, she looked up and saw her teacher standing right over her, big and scary-looking.
“We do not sing during naps,” said the teacher.
Joy felt everybody looking at her. “I don’t like you,” she said. “‘Abdu’l-Bahá doesn’t like you, too. He says to be happy and you don’t let people be happy.” With that, she began to cry and ran out of the room. She was sitting on the steps when her mother came to get her.
“What’s the trouble?” her mother asked. “What happened?”
“I want to go home,” Joy said. “I’m not coming here any more.”
“We’ll see,” said her mother. She took her hand and led her back to the classroom. Joy sat down at her desk and put her head on it. She was getting very sleepy, and the talking of her mother and her teacher sounded far away. She heard them say “‘Abdu’l-Bahá” and “Bahá’í” and “teacher” and “school”, and she heard her teacher say, “I didn’t mean to upset her so, but we can’t have everyone singing and talking at once.” The next thing she knew, her mother was waking her and taking her home.
[Page 20]
“Joy,” said her mother when they got home, “‘Abdu’l-Bahá did say we should be happy, and that’s nice, but he also said we should be some other things, and we have to try to be all of them at the same time. We have to be happy, but we also have to be obedient and do what we’re told. We have to be polite, and thoughtful, and not put ourselves first, and we have to ——”
“I don’t want to be a Bahá’í anyway,” said Joy. “There’s too many old be’s and I’m too little.”
“You’re also too sleepy,” said her mother, “and after supper, you can go to bed.”
That night, Joy had a strange dream. She was sitting in her classroom, and everyone in the class was yelling and laughing and singing at the same time. They were having great fun, and she was joining right in as loud as the rest. “The teacher will be mad.” she thought, and she looked up to see if the teacher was at her desk. But it wasn’t the teacher at all. It was ‘Abdu’l-Bahá. He was trying to say something, but nobody could hear him. He looked sad. Then she woke up.
“I don’t want to go. I want to stay here,” she told her mother in the morning.
“But you’ll have to go back to school again,” said her mother.
“Tomorrow maybe,” said Joy. “My tummy hurts.”
“Well, all right,” said her mother. “But you can only stay home for today.”
Joy ate her breakfast and watched cartoons but she didn’t laugh and sing as much as usual. After a while, she went out on the porch where her grandpa was reading his paper.
“How’s my Joy-in-Pigtails?” he asked, taking her on his lap. “You’re quiet this morning. How come you’re not in school?”
“I don’t like school,” said Joy.
“Why’s that?” asked her grandpa.
“It’s got too many quiet times,” said Joy. “I’d rather sing and talk ’cause that’s more happier.”
“You’ll learn to be happy inside while you’re being quiet. Being quiet can be very exciting. It lets you hear what’s going on inside you, and that can be very happy. Close your eyes, and while I count to fifty, picture the prettiest picture you can, but you mustn’t move or say anything, or it will go away.”
[Page 21]
--BLANK--
[Page 22]
Joy closed her eyes and imagined herself swinging high in a swing in her favorite park watching the ducks on the pond, and feeling the warm sun on her face. Before she knew it, her grandpa was all done counting. “Did you see a nice picture?” he asked.
“Oh, yes,” said Joy, and she told him all about what she had imagined.
“Now you see,” he said. “You would never have seen all that if you were busy running and singing. Part of being happy is taking time to hear what is in our heads, and we can be that kind of happy anytime, without bothering anybody.”
Joy remembered her dream. “Can God and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá talk to you in your head?” she asked.
“Oh, certainly,” said Grandpa. “They can and They do, but you have to listen.”
Joy was thoughtful for a moment, then said, “Oh, Grandpa, I wish you could come to school and count our naptimes!”
Grandpa laughed, and Joy noticed that she felt all better.
The next day she went back to school. “Your mamma told me about ‘Abdu’l-Bahá,” said her teacher. “He sounds very nice.”
“He is, ” said Joy. She listened to what was inside her as the teacher sat them all down for a story, and she felt very happy.
[Page 23]
collections[edit]
by Janet Richards
Many times we enjoy a quiet moment working on a project, daydreaming or reading. Some people use part of their quiet time collecting things, organizing them or just examining their collections.
In the September/October 1978 issue of Child’s Way, there was an article about mineral collecting. Other collections that you may be familiar with are stamps, coins, and postcards. But you can collect anything!
If you’d like to start a collection, look around your home to get an idea. Start slowly and carefully. Maybe it will start with a gift or an item someone else wants to throw away.
After you begin your collection, you may want to display it. Maybe in an album, a shoe box or attached to cardboard.
As your collection grows, think about organizing it according to similarities and differences. Date each addition to your collection and note where you found it. Be a real detective; check the attic, garage sales and ask your relatives if they have anything for your hobby. Swap with other collectors. Check the library for books about collecting.
Some things people collect are: shells, bottle caps, leaves, buttons, a particular toy like metal cars, old keys and thimbles. I collect tea bag tags. My collection now has over 400 tags which I display in plastic sheets made for slides. Another tag collector (yes, there actually is another person who collects tea tags besides myself), and I trade extras. It’s lots of fun!
What do you collect? We at Child’s Way would like to share your collection ideas with our readers. Maybe you’d like to draw a picture to send along also.
[Page 24]
Legend of the Proud King[edit]
by Mary E. O’Brien
Once upon a time in a land far away was a kingdom ruled by a very proud king. The king was so proud that he began to think he was the best person in the kingdom. No matter what there was that a person could be good at, the king thought that he was best at it. The more he thought about it, the more he became convinced. Before too long, he began to believe that he was the best person in all the world, and after thinking about it even longer, he became convinced that he was the best person who had ever lived.
Of course, no one can be best at everything and even this very proud king realized that. But because he was such a proud person, he found a very clever way of thinking about that. He decided that if he wasn’t the best at something (which sometimes even he was forced to admit) then that thing was not very important. For instance, the king was extremely strong and could lift even his heavy throne which, it’s true, no one else in the kingdom could do. But he couldn’t run fast at all, so he decided that running was an unimportant matter and really had nothing to do with being the best.
[Page 25]
Now, as you may know, some kings are very powerful people, and the people who are ruled by these kings do as the king says. Because this proud king was a powerful king, most of the people of the kingdom agreed (at least out loud) that he was best. Some of the people really believed it, but most of them just said they believed it because they were afraid of the king.
Before too long, the people in the kingdom who were in some ways like the king began to become proud also. The people who were strong thought they were very wonderful; whereas the people who were fast began to think they weren’t good at anything after all, since the king said running wasn’t important and everyone seemed to agree. The people with curly black beards became so proud that they began to think anyone without a curly black beard couldn’t be important at all. The people who were tall began to think they were much better than people who were short, and so on down a list of things that the king had decided were important.
This went on and on and eventually the king died, still convinced that he was the best. The people in the kingdom, unfortunately, had grown accustomed to the king’s way of thinking. Well, this lopsided way of thinking led to a lopsided kingdom. For one thing, most of the people either thought that they were very wonderful or that they were worthless. The people who could count well were paid a lot of money in counting jobs, but the people who could weave warm blankets were paid very little. The people who were strong bullied the people who were not and everyone thought that’s how things should be. No one was really happy though, because deep down inside they all knew that something was wrong.
[Page 26]
Generations passed and it began to look like things would stay this way forever when something very odd did happen. A short woman with blond hair (and not even a hint of a curly black beard) who was neither particularly strong nor good at counting, began to take pride in what she could do. This woman carved beautiful designs on furniture and sold her furniture as fast as she could make it, but no one thought she was important until one day when she began to think she was important. And she told people what she thought.
Some people thought she was very strange and some people were afraid that if she and others like her became important they would become unimportant. But mostly, people began talking and thinking. “What about me?” they asked, “aren’t I important too?” It got everyone thinking in a new way. The lopsided kingdom started evening out, and people began feeling better about themselves. It took a little time, but finally things were back the way they were before the proud king had ruled. Nobody thought he or she was better than everyone else. Everyone worked hard and got paid fairly at what he or she did best, and everyone felt better deep inside.
The legend of the proud king is still told in the kingdom, though, as a reminder to everyone of what can happen when too much pride is allowed to rule.
[Page 27]
Reader’s Registry[edit]
A book review by Debbi Bley
Dollars from Dandelions, 101 Ways to Earn Money by Helen Roney Sattler
Have you ever tried to figure out how to earn money to go to summer school? How to have extra money to use for your hobby, or to save for a special thing? Have you ever wanted to have more money to give to the Fund? Then this book is for you!
Helen Sattler has gathered a lot of good ideas for working hard and getting paid for it. She also challenges your imagination to think of ways to make her basic ideas work in a way that is best for you.
Ms. Sattler tells how to ask for work, how to decide how much to be paid, and where to find employers. Aside from being ways to make money, the ideas are also ways of being of service to others.
If you like outdoor work, why not think of sidewalk manicuring, or swimming pool cleaning, or house number painting? It would sure expand the usual lawn-mowing kind of work. Do you like plants? How about vegetable picking, or plant sitting, or growing seedlings? If animals are one of your loves, there are lots of opportunities: raising tropical fish, breeding small animals, dog walking, horse sitting! If you like work around the house, there is plenty to do that may be difficult for a busy mother or older person to accomplish. How about washing windows, polishing silver, or providing laundromat service?
These are only a few of the ideas that are in this fun and useful book. There are special tips on getting the skills you need, finding the skills you already have, specializing in a certain area, dealing with the competition, advertising, and even making your hobbies profitable for you!
One of the nicest things about this book is the wonderful illustrations by our own Child’s Way art editor, Rita Leydon. If you look closely at her drawings, you can even find some Bahá’í children at work!!
[Page 28]
Parents’ Page[edit]
On Parenting[edit]
an editorial
“In Questions and Answers, an appendix to the Kitáb-i-Aqdas, Bahá’u’lláh lays upon children the obligation of serving their parents and categorically states that after the recognition of the oneness of God, the most important of all duties for children is to have due regard for the rights of their parents.”
One of the purposes of life for a Bahá’í is the acquisition of divine attributes. It stands to reason that as we fulfill this purpose we become in the process better parents, training our children to fulfill their own purpose in life. Two divine attributes which we might well examine for their implications in our parenting are Power and Bounty -- qualities of such importance to our spiritual life that we are called on to testify each day in our prayers to our weakness and poverty in relation to God’s Might and Wealth. Knowledge of this relative weakness and poverty is essential to our becoming powerful and generous in the world of men, for it protects us from pride and grandiosity.
It is particularly valuable for us to know the meaning of manifesting power and bounty with our children, for many aspects of these attributes are essential to that relationship with them. From the point-of-view of children, parents are all-powerful and all-bounteous. We know that as they grow and develop their own powers of understanding, they are likely to discover the limits of parental power, so it certainly behooves us to teach them early of the One Who is truly All-Powerful and All-Bounteous. This is not to say, however, that they should be taught that maturity means becoming free of this illusion. On the contrary, parental authority is ordained by God, as we see in the passage quoted above, and there is a value to us, even in adulthood, in coming to terms with it. Bahá’u’lláh instructs us to seek parental consent for our marriages, and even to pray for the forgiveness of our parents as we pray for our own forgiveness.
[Page 29]
That our Western culture is far from grasping the value of this teaching about parental authority should be apparent to all of us. Shoghi Effendi cites a “laxity in parental control” as one of the signs of the decadence of our age. Parental authority is so under attack in the West that we read in the newspapers of parents who are sued by their son for psychological damages. Parents are on the defensive, anticipating blame no matter how successfully their children move into adulthood. They hesitate to be firm, for fear of seeming authoritarian and arbitrary, while they also hesitate to be generous, for fear of spoiling the child.
And yet both firmness and generosity (power and bounty) are divine attributes perfectly in harmony with one another when they are in balance. The parent who lacks confidence in his authority hesitates to manifest either quality, but both are essential for the spiritual upbringing of the child. The tools of reward and punishment are used by all parents, whether their goal for their children is a spiritual education or not. But an over-emphasis on material rewards and punishments (“should I spank or not?”; “how many toys are too many toys?”) will produce a child with material values. Spiritual training requires that the child seek the good-pleasure of his parents and that the parents find joy in their children. The child who is asked to sacrifice his own impulses in obedience to his parents can do so if he has experienced the sweetness of their good-pleasure; and he is never spoiled by their generosity if he has also experienced their discipline and guidance. What’s more, in that beautiful manner with which spiritual realities enfold one another, the same principle applies to parents: the more joy a parent extracts from his transactions with his children, the more able he is to be firm with them without fear of losing their love, and the more firm he is, the more likely he is to be able to enjoy their company, for they will manifest the qualities he models for them and calls forth from them.
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have you moved? child’s way wants to know.
my new address is:
name ___________________________________
street _________________________________
city ___________________________________
state & zip ____________________________
send to: child’s way Bahá’í Subscriber Service 415 Linden Ave. Wilmette, Illinois 60091
paste your old address label here:
Ian