Bahá’í Laws/Marriage and Divorce

Bahá’í Laws

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[Page 7] Sometimes Bahá’ís want to devote all their time to teaching the Faith, feeling this is more important than working, and expect others to take care of them. This is also unacceptable, however pure the motive. Shoghi Effendi says that a “good Bahá’í . . . is the one who so arranges his life as to devote time both to his material needs and also to the service of the Cause.”¹²

5. Chastity

God has created man to be a joyous, loving creature and has given him many ways to experience the richness of life. Sexual love between a man and woman is indeed a gift of God. Bahá’ís know that such love, as all other God-given capacities, must be expressed in ways which are in harmony with the will of God and His laws. Chastity, therefore, is a requirement of Bahá’í life.

To live a chaste and holy life one must not have any sexual relations before marriage and must be loyal and faithful in marriage. He must also be clean-minded, modest, and pure. Chastity can be expressed in many areas of one’s life—his dress, his language, his entertainment, his behavior toward members of the opposite sex.

Shoghi Effendi emphasizes that a “chaste and holy life must be made the controlling principle in the behavior and conduct of all Bahá’ís, both in their social relations with the members of their own community, and in their contact with the world at large.”¹³ By living a chaste and holy life one will not only become happier and healthier himself but will also attract the attention of others and demonstrate the power of the Bahá’í Faith.

6. Marriage and Divorce

Marriage is one of the eternal laws of God. Its purpose is to assist the married couple in their spiritual growth and to ensure proper care of children.

Marriage is a serious commitment which requires that a [Page 8] couple considering marriage investigate each other’s character thoroughly. The couple’s intentions should be love, unity, friendship, and respect. Their marriage must be based on both spiritual and physical bonds. Sometimes marriages are based on physical bonds alone. This type of union is only temporary, and separation will eventually occur. Permanent and everlasting union between husband and wife is based on spiritual and physical harmony in all areas of thought and life. When this type of union is the foundation of a marriage, the couple will be able to help each other in their spiritual growth and remain together in all the worlds of God.

After a couple have decided they would like to marry, they must receive the consent of all living parents. Unity is the main goal of the Bahá’í Faith. Therefore, it is necessary to have unity in families. Marriage is not only the union of two people but the union of two families as well. Since the family is the basic building block of society, maintaining family unity by getting the consent of all parents to a marriage is as important as choosing a marriage partner who shares one’s “conceptions of life.”¹⁴

A Bahá’í marriage ceremony is required of all Bahá’ís, even if one marries a non-Bahá’í. Non-Bahá’í couples, in most [Page 9] states, may also have Bahá’í weddings if they follow all Bahá’í marriage laws. The ceremony is simple and varies in style from culture to culture. In every Bahá’í wedding the bride and groom must say the marriage vow, “We will all, verily, abide by the Will of God,” in the presence of two witnesses approved by the Local Spiritual Assembly. This vow is a reminder that marriage is more than an agreement between two people. When people marry, they establish a joint relationship with God which is their point of unity and the basis of their values. In addition to this vow the couple may add any prayers, readings, or forms of music which they find meaningful and which contribute to the joyous, spiritual atmosphere.

The Local Spiritual Assembly is responsible for seeing that Bahá’í marriage laws are obeyed. It receives the consent of the parents, and witnesses acting on its behalf hear the marriage vows recited. The Spiritual Assembly is also available for counseling and consultation both before and during a marriage if the partners feel the need to seek its guidance.

Sometimes serious problems arise in a marriage. To overcome these problems (which may be caused by selfishness or immaturity) a wife and husband should pray, turn to the Writings, and have frank discussions. If the situation does not improve, they can seek help and guidance from the Local Spiritual Assembly.

Occasionally even if a husband and wife both work hard to build a good marriage, they begin to dislike one another so much that it may be harmful for them to stay together. Divorce is strongly discouraged in the Bahá’í Faith, but it is permitted as a last resort when all means of reconciliation have failed. Bahá’u’lláh has established ways to make sure this serious step is taken in the right spirit. The couple must go to the Assembly and say they want to separate. The Spiritual Assembly will set a date for the beginning of the year of patience. During that year the couple live apart but try to rebuild the marriage. If this proves impossible, they will be granted a Bahá’í divorce by the Spiritual Assembly after the year of patience ends and after the civil divorce is granted. [Page 10] Divorce is a very serious matter. The foundation of the Kingdom of God is harmony, love, and union not differences, especially between husband and wife. If either partner has been the cause of the divorce, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá says he will have great difficulties and feel deep regret. If, however, both partners have sincerely tried to seek unity and have proceeded in obedience to the principles and spirit of Bahá’í law, no stigma can be attached to them. Divorced Bahá’ís are free to remarry.

7. Prohibitions

Bahá’u’lláh has brought laws for a new social order—the Kingdom of God on earth. By obeying Bahá’u’lláh’s laws Bahá’ís are guided to the straight path and enjoy the true freedom which comes from submission to God.

Alcohol and Drugs. The use of alcohol and drugs is strictly forbidden by Bahá’u’lláh, and Bahá’ís must avoid all contact with them. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá states that drinking “is the cause of chronic diseases, weakeneth the nerves, and consumeth the mind.”¹⁵ Not only are the mind and body damaged by these substances, but the soul suffers as well. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá says that in addition to killing the powers of reason and weakening one’s intelligence, drugs can take possession of the soul and make a living man as dead. An individual who uses alcohol or drugs does things of which he is later ashamed. He may lose the respect of his family and friends and find his spiritual progress retarded. Obedience to the law against alcohol and drugs protects man and preserves the nobility of his station.

Gambling. Bahá’u’lláh instructs His followers not to gamble. Gambling is putting one’s trust in chance rather than in God. The law against gambling does not mean that one cannot play games. Many games are both fun and harmless. But any game becomes harmful when it results in wasting money or time, which is unacceptable in the Cause of God.