1205. Sex Education Requires Wisdom and Good Judgment on the Part of Parents
"The House of Justice points out that sex education, especially education concerning the physiological aspects of sex, is a delicate matter, requiring wisdom and good judgment on the part of parents who can impart information to their children and answer their questions in accordance with the stage of development of each child and the degree of his or her understanding. It is, moreover, a subject that needs to be placed in its proper context of the spiritual and emotional development of individuals, the nature of the family and the purpose of human life…."
- (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, September 25, 1981)
1206. Bahá’í Youth Should Stand out Against the Laxity and Depravity of a Permissive Society
"…the Cause of God will derive immense benefit when it is observed that the Bahá’ís, and particularly Bahá’í youth, stand out against the laxity and depravity of the permissive society, that the exalted standards of conduct which they strive to uphold are firmly rooted in spiritual principles, giving them confidence, self-respect and true happiness. On the other hand only the greatest harm can be done to the Cause if its followers are simply engulfed by the current tide."
- (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, November 23, 1983)
1207. The Individual Believer in Accordance with His Prayerful Understanding of the Writings Should Determine His Course of Conduct
"It is neither possible nor desirable for the Universal House of Justice to set forth a set of rules covering every situation. Rather it is the task of the individual believer to determine, according to his own prayerful understanding of the Writings, precisely what his course of conduct should be in relation to situations which he encounters in his daily life. If he is to fulfill his true mission in life as a follower of the Blessed Perfection, he will pattern his life according to the Teachings. The believer cannot attain this objective merely by living according to a set of rigid regulations. When his life is oriented towards service to Bahá’u’lláh, and when every conscious act is performed within this frame of reference, he will not fail to achieve the true purpose of his life.
"Therefore, every believer must continually study the sacred Writings and the instructions of the beloved Guardian, striving always to attain a new and better understanding of their import to him and to his society. He should pray fervently for Divine Guidance, wisdom and strength to do what is pleasing to God, and to serve Him at all times and to the best of his ability."
- (From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, October 17, 1968: National Bahá’í Review, No. 47, November 1971, p. 3)
1208. Bahá’ís Should Not Hesitate to Seek Advice from Assemblies when They Feel the Need and Must Learn Through Study and Prayer to Obtain a Clearer Vision of Their Mission
"There is no need to dwell at length on the implications of spotless chastity and the integrity of the sacred marital bond set forth in our teachings, as these have been clearly outlined and amply elaborated in our scriptures and in the writings of our beloved Guardian. Such matters as the age of marriage or the manner of meeting economic commitments are left to the individual to decide for himself. The friends, however, should not hesitate to seek the advice of their Local Spiritual Assemblies in all such matters if they feel the need.
"As the suffering and unrest afflicting humanity increase, and moral restraints are one by one abolished, the Bahá’ís must learn to obtain, through study and prayer, a clearer vision of their mission, earnestly seek to purge their lives of the influences of laxity and promiscuity characterizing modern society, and insure that the fair name and integrity of the Faith they serve and love so dearly remain unstained and unsullied."
- (From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to two believers, May 22, 1966)
1209. One Must Learn to Control Animal Impulses, not be a Slave to Them
"In considering the effect of obedience to the laws on individual lives, one must remember that the purpose of this life is to prepare the soul for the next. Here one must learn to control and direct one's animal impulses, not to be a slave to them. Life in this world is a succession of tests and achievements, of falling short and of making new spiritual advances. Sometimes the course may seem very hard, but one can witness, again and again, that the soul who steadfastly obeys the law of Bahá’u’lláh, however hard it may seem, grows spiritually, while the one who compromises with the law for the sake of his own apparent happiness is seen to have been following a chimera: he does not attain the happiness he sought, he retards his spiritual advance and often brings new problems upon himself."
- (From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, excerpts from a letter to all National Spiritual Assemblies, February 6, 1973)
1210. Kissing in Modern Society is Detrimental to Morals*
"What Bahá’u’lláh means by chastity certainly does not include the kissing that goes on in modern society. It is detrimental to the morals of young people, and often leads them to go too far, or arouses appetites which they cannot perhaps at the time satisfy legitimately through marriage, and the suppression of which is a strain on them.
"The Bahá’í standard is very high, more particularly when compared with the thoroughly rotten morals of the present world. But this standard of ours will produce healthier, happier, nobler people, and induce stabler marriages."
- (From a letter written on behalf of the Guardian to an individual believer, October 19, 1947)
*(See also: No. 1438)
1211. Bahá’ís Must Set the Example and Lead the Way to a True Human Standard of Life
"The world today is submerged, amongst other things, in an over-exaggeration of the importance of physical love, and a dearth of spiritual values. In as far as possible the believers should try to realize this and rise above the level of their fellow-men who are, typical of all decadent periods in history, placing so much over-emphasis on the purely physical side of mating. Outside of their normal, legitimate married life they should seek to establish bonds of comradeship and love which are eternal and founded on the spiritual life of man, not on his physical life. This is one of the many fields in which it is incumbent on the Bahá’ís to set the example and lead the way to a true human standard of life, when the soul of man is exalted and his body but the tool for his enlightened spirit. Needless to say this does not preclude the living of a perfectly normal sex life in its legitimate channel of marriage."
- (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, September 28, 1941: Messages from the Universal House of Justice, 1968-1973, pp. 108-109)
1212. Chastity Implies Before Marriage Absolutely Chaste, After Marriage Absolutely Faithful to One's Chosen Companion
"The question you raise as to the place in one's life that a deep bond of love with someone we meet other than our husband or wife can have is easily defined in view of the teachings. Chastity implies both before and after marriage an unsullied, chaste sex life. Before marriage absolutely chaste, after marriage absolutely faithful to one's chosen companion. Faithful in all sexual acts, faithful in word and in deed."
- (Ibid.)
1213. Bahá’í Youth Should Study the Teachings on Chastity For Guidance in Deciding Which Intimacies are Permissible and Which Are Not
"We have received your letter of 19th June 1973 and can sympathize with the problems that Bahá’í youth face when trying to live up to the Bahá’í standards of behaviour. It is, perhaps, natural that in the bewildering amoral environment in which Bahá’í youth are growing up they feel the need for specific instructions on which intimacies are permissible and which are not. However, we feel it would be most unwise for any Bahá’í institution to issue detailed instructions about this.
"The Bahá’í youth should study the teachings on chastity and, with these in mind, should avoid any behaviour which would arouse passions which would tempt them to violate them. In deciding what acts are permissible to them in the light of these considerations the youth must use their own judgement, following the guidance of their consciences and the advice of their parents.
"If Bahá’í youth combine such personal purity with an attitude of uncensorious forbearance towards others they will find that those who may have criticized or even mocked them will come, in time, to respect them. They will, moreover, be laying a firm foundation for future married happiness."
- (From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to a Local Spiritual Assembly, July 9, 1973)
1214. Youth Should Be Taught Self-Control
"… The Bahá’í youth should, on the one hand, be taught the lesson of self-control which, when exercised, undoubtedly has a salutary effect on the development of character and of personality in general, and on the other should be advised, nay even encouraged, to contract marriage while still young and in full possession of their physical vigour. Economic factors, no doubt, are often a serious hindrance to early marriage but in most cases are only an excuse, and as such should not be over stressed."
- (From a letter written on behalf of the Guardian to an individual believer, December 13, 1940: Messages from the Universal House of Justice, 1968-1973, p. 109)
1215. Chastity Should be Strictly Practiced by Both Sexes
"The Bahá’í teaching on sexual intercourse is very clear. It is permissible only between a man and the woman who is his wife. In this connection we share with you extracts from four letters* written on behalf of the Guardian which throw light on various aspects of the matter…."
- (From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to all National Spiritual Assemblies, February 6, 1973)
*(Please refer to Nos. 1156 and 1157 for two of these extracts.)
1216. Chastity is One of the Most Challenging Concepts in this Permissive Age
"As to chastity, this is one of the most challenging concepts to get across in this very permissive age, but Bahá’ís must make the utmost effort to uphold Bahá’í standards, no matter how difficult they may seem at first. Such efforts will be made easier if the youth will understand that the laws and standards of the Faith are meant to free them from untold spiritual and moral difficulties in the same way that a proper appreciation of the laws of nature enables one to live in harmony with the forces of the planet. You may wish also to seek the advice of the Education Committee on teaching chastity to young Bahá’ís."
- (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, January 14, 1985)
1217. Children Out of Wedlock
"…in reply to your letter of 8 April 1981 requesting guidance on how to deal with problems involving Bahá’í women who have had children out of wedlock.
"Normally administrative rights should not be suspended because of the birth of a child out of wedlock. The questions to be considered are whether the party is guilty of blatant and flagrant immorality, whether such conduct is harming the Faith, and whether the believer has refused or neglected to improve her conduct despite repeated warnings.
"If you find that the girls in question are responding to the exhortations of the Assembly and have corrected their behaviour, you should consider the matter closed and restore their administrative rights. Your Assembly should, of course, provide for the proper deepening of the friends, and in a loving and patient manner attempt to instill in them a respect for Bahá’í Laws."
- (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, May 6, 1981)
1218. In Sexual Morality People Often Stumble and Fall Short of the Ideal—The Spiritual Assembly Should Act as a Loving Father Rather than a Judge
"The Universal House of Justice has received your letter of 15 May 1986 asking whether administrative sanctions should be imposed on unmarried couples in which one or both are Bahá’ís and who have had children out of wedlock. We have been asked to convey the following guidance.
"As you readily understand, Bahá’ís are exhorted to lead a chaste and holy life, and, according to Bahá’í Law, sexual intercourse is permissible only between a man and the woman who is his wife. In sexual morality, as in other realms of behaviour, people often stumble and fall short of the ideal. It is the task of Spiritual Assemblies to ensure that the friends are deepened in their understanding of the teachings, and are exhorted to apply them in their lives. In caring for its community, a Spiritual Assembly should act as a loving father rather than as a stern judge in such matters. Nevertheless, if a believer's behaviour is blatantly and flagrantly immoral and, therefore, is harmful to the good name of the Faith, the Assembly must counsel him (or her), urge him to reform his conduct, warn him of the consequences if he does not mend his ways and, ultimately, if the believer persists in misbehaviour, the Assembly must deprive him of his administrative rights. This deprivation remains in force until such time as the believer repents of his actions and is able to satisfy the Spiritual Assembly that he has rectified his behaviour."
- (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, June 5, 1986)
1219. The Institutions Should Adopt Such Programs as will Deepen the Believers in their Understanding as to How to Attain to the High Standards of Spotless Chastity Inculcated by Bahá’u’lláh
"…Bahá’ís in their deep love for Bahá’u’lláh should be eager to apply every spiritual precept in their own lives while at the same time exercising patience, forbearance and forgiveness in respect to the shortcomings of others. It is for the Institutions of the Faith to adopt such programmes as will deepen the believers in their understanding of the teachings so that they will unhesitatingly and eagerly follow Him.
"There is no doubt that the standard of spotless chastity inculcated by Bahá’u’lláh in His teachings can be attained by the friends only when they stand forth firmly and courageously as uncompromising adherents of the Bahá’í way of life, fully conscious that they represent teachings which are the very antithesis of the corrosive forces which are so tragically destroying the fabric of man's moral values. The present trend in modern society and its conflict with our challenging principles of moral conduct, far from influencing the believers to compromise their resolve to adhere undeviatingly to the standards of purity and chastity set forth for them by their Faith, must stimulate them to discharge their sacred obligations with determination and thus combat the evil forces undermining the foundations of individual morality."
- (From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to two individual believers, May 22, 1966)
1220. Masturbation
"We have found in the Holy Writings no explicit references to masturbation, but there are a number of principles and teachings which can guide a Bahá’í to the correct attitude towards it. In a letter to an individual believer, written by the Guardian's secretary on his behalf, it is pointed out that:
'The Bahá’í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse, but condemns its illegitimate and improper expressions such as free love, companionate marriage and others, all of which it considers positively harmful to man and to the society in which he lives. The proper use of the sex instinct is the natural right of every individual, and it is precisely for this very purpose that the institution of marriage has been established. The Bahá’ís do not believe in the suppression of the sex impulse but in its regulation and control.'
"In response to another letter enquiring if there were any legitimate way in which a person could express the sex instinct if, for some reason, he were unable to marry or if outer circumstances such as economic factors were to cause him to delay marriage, the Guardian's secretary wrote on his behalf:
'Concerning your question whether there are any legitimate forms of expression of the sex instinct outside of marriage: According to the Bahá’í Teachings no sexual act can be considered lawful unless performed between lawfully married persons. Outside of marital life there can be no lawful or healthy use of the sex impulse. The Bahá’í youth should, on the one hand, be taught the lesson of self-control which, when exercised, undoubtedly has a salutary effect on the development of character and of personality in general, and on the other should be advised, nay even encouraged, to contract marriage while still young and in full possession of their physical vigour. Economic factors, no doubt, are often a serious hindrance to early marriage but in most cases are only an excuse, and as such should not be over stressed.'
"In another letter on the Guardian's behalf, also to an individual believer, the secretary writes:
'Amongst the many other evils afflicting society in this spiritual low water mark in history is the question of immorality, and over-emphasis of sex…'
"This indicates how the whole matter of sex and the problems related to it have assumed far too great an importance in the thinking of present-day society.
"Masturbation is clearly not a proper use of the sex instinct, as this is understood in the Faith. Moreover it involves, as you have pointed out, mental fantasies, while Bahá’u’lláh, in the Kitáb-i-Aqdas, has exhorted us not to indulge our passions and in one of His well-known Tablets ‘Abdu'l-Bahá encourages us to keep our 'secret thoughts pure'. Of course many wayward thoughts come involuntarily to the mind and these are merely a result of weakness and are not blameworthy unless they become fixed or even worse, are expressed in improper acts. In 'The Advent of Divine Justice', when describing the moral standards that Bahá’ís must uphold both individually and in their community life, the Guardian wrote:
'Such a chaste and holy life, with its implications of modesty, purity, temperance, decency, and clean-mindedness, involves no less than the exercise of moderation in all that pertains to dress, language, amusements, and all artistic and literary avocations. It demands daily vigilance in the control of one's carnal desires and corrupt inclinations.'
"Your problem, therefore, is one against which you should continue to struggle, with determination and with the aid of prayer. You should remember, however, that it is only one of the many temptations and faults that a human being must strive to overcome during his lifetime, and you should not increase the difficulty you have by over-emphasising its importance. We suggest you try to see it within the whole spectrum of the qualities that a Bahá’í must develop in his character. Be vigilant against temptation, but do not allow it to claim too great a share of your attention. You should concentrate, rather, on the virtues that you should develop, the services you should strive to render, and, above all, on God and His attributes, and devote your energies to living a full Bahá’í life in all its many aspects."
- (From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, a copy of which was sent to the compiler with a letter dated March 8, 1981)
