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Spring 2001 ‘
World order
PERSPECTIVES ON THE CHANGING FAMILY
A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY EDITORIAL
FAMILY GOVERNANCE: FOR LOVE AND JUSTICE
AMR'I‘HA L SCHWEI'IZ 1
ERADICATING GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE: \ SUCCESSES AND CHALLENGES ‘
MICHA E], L. PENN
ALSO: ‘ 1 TRUTH TELLING AND HEALING FAMILIES: > AN ANALYSIS OF THOMAS VINTERBERG’S THE CELEBRATION
(HREN ROSIL’V’YHAI. AND I.l-'l/.l 'I'()\\7//"l(ill
World order
VUIUME 32, NUMBER 5
WORLD ORDER IS INTENDED TO STIMULATE, INSPIRE. AND SERVE THINKING PEOPLE IN
THEIR SEARCH TO FIND RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN CONTEMPORARY LIFE AND CONTEMPORARY RELIGIOUS TEACHINGS AND PHILOSOPHY
Editorial Basrd:
BETTY J. FISHER ARASH ABIZADEH MONIHEH KAZEMZADEH DIANE LOTFI
KEVIN A. MDHNSON ROBERT H‘ STOCKMAN JIM STOKES
Consultant in Poetry: HERBERT WOODWARD MARTIN
WORLD ORDER is published quarterly by (he Nariuml Spirima] Assembly of the Babé‘h ul‘dlc United S(AIKEs. 5326 Sheridan Road‘ \Wilmcrrc. ll 60091-1811. The vicws Cxpresstd herein arc Ibosc of the Jurhon and do not ncgcsaarily rcHCL‘I [ht opiniom of rhc publisher or of (he Editorial Board.
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Copyright © 200], National Spirinul Asscnv bly of the Bahá’ís of the United Sum. All Rights Rescrvcd. Printed in (he U.S.A. ISSN 0045—8804
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[N THIS ISSUE
A Mcmbcr Of [IIC [:l/imrfu/
am i ly
Imcrchungc: Lcncrs from and m the Editor
Funily (lovcmam' For Law and justice by Mllrl/m' I.. Sr/ruw'u
Thc (Iocmm poem by I‘vlmlizvl M’l/t‘r'
lirudicming (?cndcrABJsml Violence: Succ and Challenges by IVIir/m'l L I ’1')“:
Subaru. my sister
poem by [)ium’ Huff Truth 'Ikllinlgzlnul Hauling anilics: An Analysis of 'l'hmms Vimcrbcrgk T/u’ CrlyIJra/iuu
by ( f/m'n R(m'm/m/ 11nd Lri/i 7blljfiLZ/J
sincc people arc buried in m_\' psychc . . . poem by Hnrmm[)tliuqmzlz' Kinda]
Authors & Artists in This Issuc
[midc buck Cuvcr: Fordu‘onflng and Call for mpers
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2 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
A Member of the Family
T HE DIFFERENCE between employees and family members, a business professional once remarked, is that one can fire employees. This reflects a common view of society. Employees have a revocable privilege; family members think they have an entitlement.
In a variety ofways the Culture at large acknowledges the individual’s sense of entitlement and the strength of family ties, with both positive and negative repercussions. As part of a family, one has a feeling of belonging, of tootedness. At the same time, this limited unity can cause others to feel excluded‘by common definition one is “family” or one is not. The idea of family has been also been applied to larger groups—one’s fellow compatriots, for example, and one’s coteligionists. Again, definitions are both inclusionaty and exclusionary.
The Bahá’í Faith extends the family model as a metaphor to the human race—we ate all members of one family, the human family. As such, the extended metaphor invites us to amplify our limited notions of family and to demonstrate in our treatment of one another the love that, in theory, exists between members of a family. It offers the possibility to everyone to be part of a family by accident of birth, as it were. But being a member of the human family is not inherent in the mere fact of our existenee—it is not an entitlement. The standards are considerably higher; the privilege, if not exactly revocable, is ours to lose. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, in discussing what it means to be human, says: “Man is he who forgets his own interests for the sake of others. His own Comfort he forfeits for the well—being of all. Nay, rather, his own life must he be willing to forfeit for the life of mankind. Such a man is the honor of the world of humanity."
‘Abdu’l-Bahá’s definition of a human being calls us to lofty heights. Put simply, it asks us to be family membets—to do for one another what one often does for a member of the family, forgetting one’s selfinterest, sharing one’s comfort, and sacrificing oneself for others. The Bahá’í scriptures are asking us to amplify our definition of family, to be prepared at all times and under all circumstances to look upon someone else and say, without pausing, “That is a member of my family. How can I be of service?”
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WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
InterChange LETTERS FROM AND TO THE EDITOR
SEVERAL years ago, when W710i Order began to plan an issue on the family, the Editors posed a number of questions about different kinds of families; the implications of the equality of women and men; the role of government, law, and community policies; and moral and spiritual education. We asked authors to consider the questions by envisioning “the future of the family within a framework recognizing the role spiritual principles play, and the will such principles induce, in effecting familial change.”
The four authors whose essays appear in this issue responded in a way that suggests that they sat together and consulted about who would write about what aspect of family life and from what perspective (as far as we know no one talked to the others or even knew, until we neared publication, the topics the others had chosen). The result is an illuminating discussion, from a variety of perspectives, on the future of the family but all infused with the conviction that the family can be a site of joy, hope, and confidence for family members, communities, and nations, for, as ‘Abdu’l-Bahá has said, the family is a “nation in miniature.”
In “Eradicating Gender—Based Violence: Successes and Challenges,” Michael L. Penn considers the interplay between international law and culture in an overview of gender-based violence against women and
girls and of the steps needed to ensure its eventual elimination, thereby putting females on the same footing with males in building strong families, communities, and nations. While international agreements are important, what is needed, Penn argues, is an additional commitment on the part of individuals, a cultural shift infused with moral and spiritual principles that will ensure the advancement of women and girls in all fields of human endeavor.
In “Family Governance: For Love and Justice” Martha L. Schweitz otters a perspective of how such a cultural or attitudinal shift may be effected at the family level. Taking the family as a “nation in miniature,” and drawing on relevant governing principles for local, national, and international institutions, Babe“ and civil, she poses fundamental questions a wife and husband need to ask themselves as they shape their family governance (which will happen whether the couple examines it or not). Underlying Schweim’ comments on the questions are foundational Bahá’í principles (such as rights and responsibilities of family members, justice, unity, consultation). Theory and principle, except for Framing the discussion of family governance, are not Schweitz’ goal. Moving beyond principle to practice is.
A film review offers insights into additional challenges that must be solved before families can truly become nations in
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miniature. Caren Rosenthal and Leili Towfigh analyze Thomas Vinterbetg’s The Celebration, examining the disclosure of family abuse, response, change, truth telling, reconciliation, justice, and forgiveness, and explore the relationship of changes in the Family to changes in the world.
xnkx
As we prepared the call for papers for this issue on the family, we found ourselves as an Editorial Board exploring other questions: “What 1': family? What and whom are we really addressing when we discuss family?”
Notions of “family" tend to be fluid, changing over time and across cultures. In many cultures in Africa and the Middle East, and among many indigenous groups in Latin America, the concept of family and that of tribe or clan (a collection of nuclear families bound by ties of kinship or interests broader than that of the nuclear family) have historically been overlapping, if not synonymous. In medieval Europe, family often meant a man and his household—which might include wife, children, in—laws, younger siblings, servants, and so on. In all of these examples and in other cultures, the rights and responsibilities of what we think of as “family members" attach to members of a larger group.
Today in industrialized Western nations,
and particularly in the United States, “family" tends to have an extremely narrow definition: mother, father, children under the age of eighteen. We say that newlyweds “start a family”; what happened to their old ones? We speak of unmarried adults as “single” and say that the childless and those without parents or siblings have no family. Occasionally people will count a few grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins as family, but almost no one in our society recognizes the bonds with extended family members as the same as those existing within an immediate family.
What are the consequences of accepting such a narrow definition of family? Some of the more obvious problems include: Who cares for children in a onepatent household or when both parents work outside the home? Who cares for the elderly, the sick, the handicapped? On whom does an unmarried adult tely for help when faced with illness or disability or even just a difficult situation? Clearly assisted—living facilities, licensed or unlicensed daycare centers, and Medicare are not good or sufficient answers to these problems. It is ironic that at a time when our government is increasingly calling upon the “family” to carry the burden of caring for its members, the very notion of family is shrinking toward nonexistence.
We invite you, our readers, to contemplate—in the light of contemporary
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WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
thought and contemporary religious reaching—the difficult questions of the changing family posed in the articles and the film review and in our musings above and to share your thoughts and ideas with us at <worldorder@usbnc.org> or at 1V0r/dorder, 4516 Randolph Road, Apt. 99, Chatlotte, NC 28211. As always, we welcome your comments.
Letters to the Editor CHAIM POTOK AND E VER—CHANGIN G jUDAISM As a long-time Bahá’í who takes pride and pleasure in his Jewish roots, I was pleased to see Geoifry Marks’ essay on Chaim Potok's writing in the Spring 2000 issue of World Order, I agree with Mr. Marks that the basic quesrions oftradition and identity and majority expectations and norms which the characters in Mr. Pctok's novels wresde with are ones that Bahá’í’s and other people of faith can recognize from their own struggles. We often have more in common than we think.
I also agree with Mr. Marks that Chaim Pctok's Wanderings is an excellent introduction to the history of the Jews, this extraordinarily creative and long—suEering people.
Still, I was troubled by Mr. Matks' concluding paragraphs, where he gives us his description of “the Jewish experience.” Surely, “religious insularity" is nor a characteristic ofrhejewish community at large, or more a problem for Jewish communities than it is for odier religious communities.
The Jewish tradition does indeed revolve around a passionate involvement with the Sacred Text (as well as a large body of oral tradition), but it is not a simple matter of passive acceptance, Rather. it has involved a continuous process ofintertogation of the Text and debate and adaptation. Whether in Spain or Arabia or Russia or Poland or Germany or Palestine or the modern State ofIsrael. Jews have struggled to afl'irm the Text and to adapt it to present circumstances. Since the Babylonian Exile, Jews in the Diaspora have had to decide what laws could be applied and how to apply them in circumstances
where there was no Temple in Jemsalem and the rites of animal sacrifice and many Other regulations applicable to Ancient Israel could not be applied Jews have responded to their challenging citcumstances by emphasizing a search for the inner significance of the Text and of events. And this seatch for inner meaning has led to an emphasis on love, on charity, on mutual support and family, and also to a sense of ethical mission and hope for humanity and unconditional lnvc for God.
Mrr Marks discusses the inward-turning Orthodox and Hasidic communities that provide the settings for Mr. Potok's novels as if they were typical American Jewish communities, generalizing from them his idea of“the Jewish experience." The Hasidim (whose practices and beliefs stem from a mystical and ecstatic movement which sprang up in Eighteenth—Cenrury Poland) ate a tiny minority of Crthodox Jews. The majority of religious Jews in the United States are not Orthodox and, even among the Orthodox, there is a great diversity of practice and a number ofdistinctly diflerent attitudes toward the larger society, For example, one would not say ofjoseph Leiherman, the senator from Connecticut and recent vice-presidential candidate who practices Modern Orthodox Judaism, that he is not actively engaged with the world. Mr, Marks’ generalizations test on descriptions of admittedly atypical communiriesr
Mt. Potok himselfwas ordained as a Rabbi in the (relatively liberal) Conservative branch of Judaism, Mr. Potok, in his novels, is describing his own evolution away from the isolation of the communities ofhis youth. This is an evolurion so many Jews have taken over the last several hundred years, as individuals but also. significantly, as communitiesi It is this larger movement of Jews into Jewish communities that embraces a full engagement with the modern world while preserving a passionate come mirment to Judaism that is the real Story of Mt. Potok's books.
Mr. Marks seems to be making a mistake which is not uncommon: he seems to think that Jews who ate nor set apart by the srticrest of Orthodox practices must be wholly secularizcd “cultural Jews" who have lost their faith. This is a view of many outsiders and a few of the ultra-Orthodox, but it is not the view of most Jews, whether they are religious at not. The vast majority of actively religious Jews are very interested in the world around them and affirm
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universal values‘ Their presence should not be obscured by images of the relatively few who Stand apart.
DAVID TAYLOR
West Hartford, Connecticut
THE AUTHOR REPLIES
Thanks to David Taylor for his thoughtful and instructive comments on my article “Chaim Potok: Finding Gold in the Clash of Cultures" [Spling 2000].
I fully agree that "the Jewish experience“ cannot be painted with a single brush. and reducing the manylayeted complexities ofa people’s history into a simplistic conception is dangerous, What I meant was that the insulaIity of the communities into which many of Potok's protagonists are casr reflects the ill-effects of religious insulatity, But it is not clearly spelled out, and Mr. Taylor’s point is well-taken.
I especially appreciated ML Taylor's comments on the passion for the Sacred Text as a cential aspect of Jewish traditionl It reminded me of Potok’s account of the kulla—a S(ud)’ assembly—founded in the small Babylonian town ofSuta circa 225 CE. (Christian Eta). The kalla was what we might today call an outreach
program ofa university, the university in this case being what may have been the first bet medraxh, or hause of higher learning, in Babylonian. The kalk was established by the great rabbi Rav (master), who wanted to extend the fruits ofleaming to the masses. Potok writes in Wandering; that in the early spring and fall of each yeat, when there was little to do in the fields, month-long gatherings were held “in which thousands of Jews from all over Babylonia participated. Alumni whose work kept them away from the academy for long periods of time during the year would spend an entire month with their teacher in the spring and fall, . . . Mostly they studied the Mishnah; the text had become inviolate for all of Babylonian Jewry, And the festival seasons that followed were reserved for the masses ofjews. They would stream into Surat, inundating the town, sometimes making it impossible For all to be housed, They we studied the Mishnah and also listened to popular lectures." May Bahá’í’ summer schools and training institutes evolve to such heights! Geomzv W. MARKS Cape Town, South Africa
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Family Governance:
For Love and Justice
BY MARTHA L. SCHWEITZ
HEN the fairy tale ends, and the ra diant couple, ever so much in love,
exit to live happily ever after, they assume that their abiding love will see them through all of the fortuities and exigencies of life without conflict. They assume that their hearts and minds will always be so closely in tune that their needs, their callings, and their dreams will naturally and forever synchronize. They assume that no identifiable process for jointly governing their now—merged lives will be necessary. They assume that where there is enough love, justice is irrelevant. But these assumptions are part of the fairy tale. Family governance is a part of virtually every family in one way or another—by choice
Copyright © 2001 by Martha L, Schweitzi
1. The percentage of nuclear families (a married couple with children under eighteen) is now fewer than 25 percent of all households, down from 45 percent in 1960. Households with children headed by single methers have, in the 19905, increased by 25 percent, to almost 7 percent of all households Nonfamily households (people living alone or with people who are not related to them) grew at twice the rate of family households in the 19905 to about one-thitd of all households. “For First Time, Nuclear Families Drop Below 25% of Households," New York Time: (national edition) 15 May 2001: 1, 18.
or by habit, deliberately or by default, in conflict or harmony—but it is rarely given the attention it requires to evolve into a smoothly functioning system. The issue of family governance is now coming under increasing pressure, both as a result of the loosening of gender—stereotyped roles and because expectations of marriage have risen and diversified. Gone for most of us in modern American society are the mythical days of inflexible but clear roles for wife and husband—roles in Which each was (supposedly) comfortable and competent in her or his prescribed place in the family. Also gone is the nuclear family as the assumed norm.‘ Current generations are predictably experiencing extreme conflicts and confusion. The Challenge for families, in this time of flux and change, is unlearning old habits and beginning to learn anew the basis for family relationships.
Unlearning old habits is crucial to the process of creating new models for family governance, for in marriage relationships (and in parenting styles) most of us [end to follow patterns from our own Childhood. We copy familiar Ways, we rebel against them by overcompensating in another direction, or we react based on unresolved issues and needs from our early experience. Cultural patterns are also extremely powerful determinants of family life. The results of family and cultural conditioning may be positive or negative, but they do not say much for our capacity in
10 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
adulthood to learn, to change, and to choose what kind of family life we wish to create. The Bahá’í writings challenge us to act not out of habit or culture (nor out of rebellion against habit or culture) but to discover how to put into practice the spirit and the principles in the Bahá’í writings that can enable us to create loving and just families. The Bahá’í ideal of family is one in which children and parents can learn by experience how to build unity, how to develop human virtues, and how to promote peace and progress in their community and the world.
Learning anew the basis for family relationships depends on confronting the question of how a family is “governed,” most simply understood as the process by which decisions are made. In a society or family in which it is considered legitimate for the husband to hold the decision—making authority and responsibility for issues related to X (for example, livelihood, income, major expenses, and where to live) and for the wife to hold authority and responsibility for Y(for example, the children’s education, homemaking, and nutrition), the process of family governance is relatively simple This system may or may not produce the best decisions and may or may not be unifying or be perceived by both partners as fair or beneficial, but it is relatively simple.
Gender equality makes all questions of family governance more complex because there are few, if any, models to follow that are not
2, lAbdu’l-Bahá, Selectiamfram the Writing: offlbdu ’lBaha’, comp‘ Research Department of the Universal House of Justice, trans. Committee at the Bahá’í World Centre and Marzich Gail (Haifa: Bahá’í World Centre, 1997) 118‘
3. ‘Abdu'l—Baha, Selenium 122.
based on gender stereotyping. The Bahá’í writings de-Iegitimize cultural gender stereotypes that are inconsistent with equality between women and men but replace them with principle: rather than a new set of rules or stereotypes. Whereas rules, like most laws, prescribe specific behavior regardless of any circumstances not explicitly mentioned in the rule, principles are contextual. How principles are applied must depend on the situation. Therein lies the difficulty, as well as the invitation to creativity, in discovering how to put gender equality into practice in the family or in any other context. Two families may have very different governance systems and may both feel that they are applying the principle of gender equality to a high degree. They may both be right
In addition to the loosening of genderstereotyped roles, questions of family governance have been deeply affected by changes
in what people subjectively expect of marriage. At one end of the spectrum, marriage
is often seen as a social contract through
which one fulfills one’s duties to family and
society; at the other end, marriage is considered purely a love alliance, expected to be full
of romance, outstanding sex, and personal
fulfillment. The Bahá’í writings value both
the social and the personal aspects of marriage. They also emphasize both the physical
and the spiritual. Marriage is a union of the
body and of the spirit in which the husband
and the wife “may ever improve the spiritual
life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting
unity throughout all the worlds of God."2
Woman and man are to “abide with each
other in the closest companionship, and to
be even as a single soul. They are two
helpmates, two intimate friends. . . . If they
live thus, they will pass through this world
with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of
heart. . . ."3 Shoghi Effendi, the Guardian of
the Bahá’í Faith, makes clear the distance
between modern practice and this exalted
standard when he describes “[m]odern soci
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ety" as “criminally lax” about “the sacred nature of marriage.“
Creating loving and just families requires good family governance. As distant as the family may seem from international affairs, much can be learned about how to govern families by examining governance issues typically studied in politics or international relations. To think of family governance simply as decision making is far too limited. Rather, family governance begins with two questions: What are the areas of common concern in a marriage? Where does authority lie? Additional aspects of family governance include how responsibilities (roles) are allocated; norms about the participation of various family members; communication and the flow of information; formal and informal processes; conflict resolution; and how the system changes over time. All of the aspects of family governance build on the qualities, mutual expectations, attitudes, and behaviors that characterize, for better or worse, the underlying marriage relationship. For Bahá’ís, these are to be shaped according to certain foundational Bahá’í principles of family life.
4‘ Shoghi Effendi, letter on his behalf, 5 January 1948, in The Campiktion On Campi/atiom: Prepared by the Universal H0145: of juxtiee 1965—1990 (Australia: Bahá’í Publications Australia, 1991), 2:no. 2328; also in Preterving Balm”! Maniagexr A Memumndum 11nd Compilation Prepared by the Univerml House aflum'te (Canada: National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’í: of Canada, 1991) no. 27.
5. ‘Abdu'l—Baha, The Pmmulgariarl nfUnii/ersdll’mee: Elk: Delivered by Hbdu 'l—Ba/Jd during Hi: Vixit t0 the United State: and Canada in 1912, comp. Howard MacNutt, 2d ed (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1982) 157.
6. The Commission on Global Governance, Our GlabalNezg/Jbur/mna'(Oxford: Oxford UP, 1995) 2 (cmphasis added).
7 The International Bank for Reconstruction and Development, Governance nndDeve/vpmmt (Washington, D.C.: World Bank, 1992) 1.
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 11
The present effort is an attempt to move beyond principle to practice. Although the principles described apply to any family structure—nuclear, single mother or father, extended, or any other—the emphasis here is on the relationship between wives and husbands, as a place to start.
Family Governance 11: a Concept AS different as they are, families and nations (as well as villages, communities, and all other levels through to the international) are part of one system of human social organization and civilization. They are necessarily interdependent in that each individual lives daily in all of these worlds. Experiences, things learned, expectations, relationships, and perceptions derived from each are intertwined and transferred without notice. The Bahá’í scriptures compare “the nations of the world to the members of a family. A family is a nation in miniature. Simply enlarge the circle of the household, and you have the nation. Enlarge the circle of nations, and you have all humanity. The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation.”5
“Governance," in political science and in
international relations, describes "the mm of the many ways individuals and institutions, publie ana’ private, manage their common afiirs.” 6 Governance, according to a World Bank publication, is “the manner in which power is exercised in the management of a country’s economic and social resources for development.”7 The term “governance” is much broader than “government.” Governance is concerned not only with institutional structures but with the roles of every actor who participates in the system. It is concerned with how the system changes, with all relationships within the system, with communication, and with formal and informal processes used to manage common concerns. Thus, while talking about the “government” of a family does not make a great deal of sense, examining the process of family
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“governance” can aid in understanding and creating new family relationships.
Some Bahá’í principles bearing on how to govern human social organizations would seem to be applicable at all levels—family, community, national, and global. The Universal House of Justice, the supreme governing and legislative institution of the Bahá’í community, has explicitly applied to the family principles regarding authority that are most frequently applied in relation to elected Bahá’í institutions:
Bahá’u’lláh [the Founder of the Bahá’í
Faith] came to bring unity to the world,
and a fundamental unity is that of the
family. . . . The atmosphere within a Babe“ family as within the community as a whole should express “the keynote of the Cause of God” which, the beloved Guardian
[Shoghi Effendi] has stated, “is not dicta torial authority but humble fellowship, not
arbitrary power, but the spirit of frank and loving consultation.”i
8. The Universal House of Justice, letter to the National Spiritual Assembly of New Zealand, 28 December 1980, in Light: of Guidance: A Bahá’í' Reference File, comp. Helen Hornby (New Delhi: Bahá’í Publishing Ttust, 1994) no. 734.
9. The Universal House of Justice, The I’rpmilt of Wirldl’eate: Ta 1/7: People: af 2}): W714 (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1985) 26—27; also in Bahá’u’lláh, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Shoghi Effendi, and the Universal House ofjustice, Wmm:£xtmmfmm the Writing: ode/m’ '14 Mb, Hbdu’l—Balm’, Shogbi Effendi and 1/7: Universal Hume Of juttite, comp. Research Department of the Universal House of Justice (Thornhill, Ontario, Canada: Bahá’í Canada Publications, 1986) no. 90.
10. Bahá’í International Community, A Baha’ ’lDetlamtion Of Human Oblégatiam andRigbts, presented to the first session of the United Nations Commission on Human Rights, February 1947, available at http:// www.bic-un‘hahahorg.
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The Universal House of Justice has also directly linked the experience of gender inequality at the family level with global polities:
The emancipation of women, the achievement of full equality between the sexes, is one of the most important, though less acknowledged prerequisites of peace. The denial of such equality petpetrates an injustice against one-half of the world’s population and promotes in men harmful attitudes and habits that are carried from the family to the workplace, to political life, and ultimately to international relations. . . . Only as women are welcomed into full partnership in all fields of human endeavor will the moral and psychological climate be created in which international peace can emerge.9
Learning how to govern our families better is the foundation, an inescapable step, in developing both the understanding: and the capacities to govern our communities and our world.
Marriages and families, however, are much
more than objects of governance. People do
not generally marry for the purpose of figuring
out how to manage their common affairs.
They marry For the relationship, for the benefits
and opportunities it offers, whatever they may
be for any given individual. “Family governance” is not a way to describe everything
that goes on in a marriage, any more than
“national governance” describes everything
that goes on in a country or is important
about national life. In both cases, govetnancc
is a means. Governance is the system ot process
by which common affairs are managed, law
it is not the ultimate end. “World order," it
has been observed, “is nothing else than the
administrative aspect of brotherhood.”‘° Family governance is nothing else than the administrative aspect of marriage. But to say
that family governance is “administrative” is
not to suggest that it is peripheral or minor.
In fact, the governance of any relationship
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a family or a nation—is integral to the relationship itself, cutting through and across all aspects of the relationship, shaping and defining the relationship as it is shaped by the relationship, and, ultimately, enabling the relationship to continue. If governance fails totally, there is civil war or divorce. If governance fails partially, there is inequity and disunity.
Because the number of participants is so small, family governance would seem to be simpler conceptually than national or international governance; But greater conceptual simplicity does not imply that it is easier. Although a family is only a minuscule part of society, the personal depth and emotional complexity of issues faced in family life render family governance at least as much of a challenge as governing a modern nation. In fact, the so-called private sphere of family life can be seen as a laboratory for understanding the implications of the feminist perspective that the political and the personal are one. What makes family governanee so difficult is that it is all so intimately personal.
To say that a failure of family governance leads to disunity is not to suggest that relatively good family governance alone is sufficient to create unity. The concept of unity in the Bahá’í Faith is fundamentally a Spiritual process that turns on each person’s sense of self, of Others, and of spiritual connection, as well as practices that promote unity. A married couple may be able to manage their common affairs in an orderly, relatively noncontentious manner and still feel so disunified that divorce results. In marriage, a state of non-war, a superficial “political peace,” is not usually sufficient to sustain the relationship. Nevertheless, learning and implementing habits and approaches to family governance that derive from foundational Bahá’í principles can carry over into other aspects of the marriage relationship and become a powerful assistance in building unity.
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 13
Foundational Bahá’í' Principles of Family Life Bearing on Governance THE Bahá’í principles of family life are just that: principles. They are not rules. Unlike rules, a given principle may be put into practice in a myriad different ways in various contexts, all consistent with the principle but responsive to the particular situation. Therefore, it is not possible to provide fixed instructions on how to govern a family, to specify what responsibilities should always be assumed by husband or wife or children, or to prescribe certain procedures for resolving conflict. Unlike the much simpler process of obeying rules, principle—based learning requires developing perspectives and understandings that allow one to see issues as part of a larger system of relationships and enable one to promote change in the direction of ever more faithful application of the principle.
The Family a: a Unit in which Member: Have Rights. A key principle bearing on family governance is that family members have rights as well as responsibilities toward one another. But in addition to being a group of individuals with personal tights and obligations, a family is also an entity in itself in which injury, comfort, and honor are experienced in common. The individual is not subsumed in the group, but the “family bond” draws each individual out of herself or himself to create something that transcends the sum of its members ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, the son of Bahá’u’lláh and His appointed interpreter, explains that,
According to the teachings of Bahá’u’lláh
the family, being a human unit, must be
educated according to the rules of sanctity. All the virtues must be taught the family. The integrity of the family bond must be constantly considered, and the rights of the individual members must not be ttansgressed. The rights of the son, the father, the mother—none of them must be transgressed, none of them must be
14 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
arbitrary. Just as the son has certain obligations to his father, the father, likewise, has certain obligations to his son. The mother, the sister and other members of the household have their certain prerogatives. All these rights and prerogatives must be conserved, yet the unity of the family must be sustained. The injury of one shall be considered the injury of all; the comfort of each, the comfort of all; the honor of one, the honor of all.11 Regarding the family as an entity that has an existence and a reality that is apart from its individual members has far-reaching consequences for family governance. No longer is the issue “my way” versus "your way” but “what will best serve the family?” This principle is closely linked to the attitude and spirit that are necessary to the process of Bahá’í consultation, another fundamental principle described in more detail below. Consultation is an approach to group decision making that begins with identifying the issue, pertinent facts, and relevant spiritual principles, followed by a frank but respectful expression of each individual’s Views. Ideas are considered to belong to the group, tegardless of who expressed them, so that there is no incentive to either pride or defensiveness. An essential element in the process of consultation, particularly as it applies in elected Bahá’í governing institutions, is that each participant must strive to transcend self to function as a member of a body with corporate (collective) authority. In a Bahá’í Spiritual Assembly, corporate authority entirely replaces individual authority. It may be useful at the family level to consider that the wife and husband, as they consult to make decisions, are functioning as trustees of the family entity rather than as individuals in a
ll. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Pramulgzztiorz qf Universal Peat: 168; also in “70mm no. 61.
negotiating relationship, however constructive.
The analogy of a business corporation is instructive. A corporation is a “legal entity," a legal fiction, that has existence (that is, it can enter into contracts, assume tights and obligations, be sued, and so on) only because the legal system confers legal identity, provided certain organizational requirements are met. The members of the board of directors of a corporation have fiduciary duties of “care" and “loyalty” that require them to act in the best interests of the corporation itself as an entity separate from, for example, its employees or management. A director will be liable if she takes advantage of her position for personal gain or is negligent in making decisions that affect the corporation. If a family is considered a separate entity with its own interests and goals, the members of the family are called to focus on a common, collective purpose rather than on pitting their respective individual interests against each other.
What could focusing on a common, collective purpose look like in practice in family consultation? At least it can change the focus by adding a third party—the family-to “me” and “you.” To begin a discussion concentrating on “what is best for our family” rather than on what "I want” might go a long way toward helping members detach from their preferences and habits. Admittedly, it is a stretch to think of a family consisting only of a husband and a wife as having any interests or goals apart from those of the two individuals, but it can, nevertheless, be a valuable perspective. What is good for the two together may turn out to be different from what either person initially thought he or she or both wanted or needed. A primary interest of the family entity in any case will be unity.
Unity a: the Operating Prinu'ple. Another foundational principle bearing on family governance is unity, but unity understood as
a moment-to-moment pattern of personal interaction and behavior rather than as a condition. Although unity is a noun, it may be more useful to think of it as a verb. Unity in diversity, the oneness of humanity, is not only the ultimate social goal in the Bahá’í writings. It is, according to the Universal House of Justice, “the operating principle" of Bahá’u’lláh’s revelation.” It is the means and the method by which all other goals can be achieved. It is a prerequisite to a good relationship. Unity is not what you have after you solve all of your problems; it is how you solve your problems. As the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of the United States observes in a recent report: “Unity is the precondition of all progress. The expectation of unity, the perspective of unity, and unswerving compliance with the requirements of unity are the disciplines that every member must master. . . .””
What is unity?M We are only at the earliest stage of trying to understand and practice unity as prescribed in the Bahá’í writings,
12. The Universal House of Justice, letter to the Bahá’ís of the World. 20 October 1983, in Message: from [/16 Universal Howe Of jXLinfl’, 1963—1986: The 7711'"! Epoch of III? Formative Age, comp. Geoffry W Marks (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1996) no. 3792; also in Light; of Guidance no. 1848,
131Annua| Reportnf the National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of the United States and its Agencies. Riḍván 2001 (April) 3.
14. In T}?! Vio/(m'E-FME Family: Building Blur}? (If Pmay‘iil Civilization (Ottawa: Bahá’í Studies Publications, 1995) lZ—Zl. Ht B, Dancsh has compared the characteristics of a “unity-based" family with other types of family systems, such as those that might be described as powet-based or indulgence~basedi
IS. Bahá’u’lláh, 721/7152; Of Bah/i'u'lla'ly mmiltd after Ila: Kim’b-i—Aqa'ax. comp. Research Department of the Universal House ofJuStice, trans, Habib Tahenadeh et al., 1st ps ed. (Wilmette. IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1988) 66—67.
16‘ Bahá’u’lláh, quoted in Shoghi Effendi, The Ad'”(In ofDiair/tjum'ce, lSI ps edi (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1990) 28.
IX 1 Cot. 13:4—7.
FAMIIY GOVERNANCE 15
but we know that it is based on diversity, in every imaginable respect, not on homogeneity or conformity. It can exist only because of diversity, not because its component parts are the same but because they are complementary and harmonious in function. We know that it is based on a spiritual perception of one’s self and others as part of the oneness of God’s creation and that, to advance all collective endeavors, it requires learning how to consult. Unity goes far beyond tolerance or acceptance of difference to embracing and openly seeking to learn and be changed by contact and relationships with others who are dilferent in any respect: race, gender, ethnicity, education, culture, social class, religion, language, personality, tempetament.
Hence unity, to Bahá’ís, is not superficial. It is not the absence of war. It is not the simple lack of overt conflict. It cannot be born of passivity. It is not a surface quiet brought about by tight authoritarian control or by the sole desire to satisfy others’ wishes. Unity, as expressed in the Bahá’í scriptures, must be created through justice: “The light of men is Justice,” Bahá’u’lláh has written; “[q]uench it not with the contrary winds of oppression and tyranny. The purpose of justice is the appearance of unity among men.“5 Moreover, “Yuszire and equity are two guardiamfor the protectizm of man” ‘6
Unity depends on selfless and unconditional love, which is an eternal spiritual ideal: “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant 0r rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love beats all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”[7 If one can imagine a man and a woman loving each other to this ideal standard, would anything else be necessary to their relationship? If one can imagine true universal brotherhood, would governments be necessary? As abstract and
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T_________f
16 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
hypothetical as these questions may seem, their answers are important. Obviously, no mortal is capable of perfect love. But even if we were, the Bahá’í writings tell us that both love and justice are necessary. Shoghi Effendi writes:
A God that is only loving 01' only just is not a perfect God. The Divinity has to possess both of these aspects as every father ought to express both in his attitude towards his children. If we ponder a while, we will see that our welfare can be ensured only when both of these divine attributes are equally emphasized and practiced.m Unity may be described as a process.
Although this sounds rather cold and analytical, it captures the idea that unity is something one due: rather than Ian: (or does not have). One can practice unity by approaching encounters with the expectation of finding a basis for unity rather than for competition, by choosing to see potential unity rather than potential conflict, and by working to realize this potential by actively expressing “love, respect and courtesy” and engaging wholeheartedly in consultation.” This is only one way to begin to understand the meaning of unity as the operating principle, as distinct from unity as a goal.
18. Shoghi Effendi. latter on his behalf, 29 April 1933, in Compilation Of Campilatiam, lzno. 867; also in [Bahá’u’lláh the Báb, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá. and the Universal House of Justice,] Family Li a, comp. Research Department of the Universal House of justice (Oakham, Eng.: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1982) 1647.
19. The Universal House of Justice has written that “love, respect and courtesy" are among the “spiritual requisites for all successful Bahá’í relationshipsn Lettet, 19 May 1994, to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States.
20. In addition, the relationship between Bahá’ís and their institutions is founded on love and [rust
21. Shoghi Effendi, letter written on his behalf, 22 July 1943, in Women no. 64
22. The Universal House of Justice. Promise of World Peace 26.
If both love and justice are necessary to the process of unity in families, communities, and nations, what does “justice,” another foundational principle beating on family governance, mean in the context of marriage?
justice. A frequently expressed view is that in relationships among individuals the sole guiding principle is love and that in relationships between individuals and institutions the primary principle is justice. This would seem to be a misconception. It is true, of course, that as individuals we should genetally love rather than judge each other and that it is a responsibility of social institutions rather than individuals to mete out just punishments, but these responsibilities are not incompatible with seeking justice in personal relationships.20 If one person consistently tmn another unfairly, or if one consistently takes advantage of the other, unity cannot exist. The Bahá’í writings state that neither husband not wife should “exert an unjust degree of domination” over the other.11 The difficult question is not whether justice should be expressed in personal relationships but how to achieve it in a manner that is unifying. People will disagree about what is just or fair in a particular situation, but in the process of working to resolve such disagreement through consultation each person can learn a great deal about the perspectives and feelings of others and about how to actinamote just way.
The implications of the principle of justice for marriage and family life are no doubt
vast, but an essential element is respecting
the rights of each family member. The most
difficult and pervasive rights issues for families in this age are likely to be those that flow
from the principle of the equality of women
and men, the denial of which, according to
the Universal House of Justice, “perpetrates
an injustice against one—half of the world's
population."22 The Bahá’í principle of gender equality does not necessarily imply iden
[Page 17]
tity of function; it is based on complementarity.23 The value of motherhood is exalted,
but women are also to become the peers of
men in all fields of public life. The education
of girls is stressed, the participation of men
in achieving gender equality is required, and
individuals and social institutions are urged
to incorporate a better balance between the
stereotypical “feminine” and l‘masculine”
human qualities. The requirements of the
Bahá’í principle of gender equality are necessary to seeking justice in a marriage and,
therefore, to creating unity.
In Western rights-oriented Cultures, we tend to think that “justice“ means standing up for one’s rights. In the name of justice, much of Western feminism has focused primarily on rights: legal, political, and personal. The Bahá’í writings, in addition to insisting on full equality of rights and opportunities for women, place great emphasis on the related but separate issue of the advancement of women, in terms of capacities and abilities, through education and other means. This is similar to much of the current literature on empowerment that focuses on improving capacities to take responsibility, make decisions, work in groups, solve problems, and generally to choose one’s path in life, free of gender-based and other socially imposed limitations. In marriage and family life, the principle of gender equality may have as much to do with a couple’s encouraging and nutturing each other’s capacities and strengths as it does with respecting the woman’s rights.
Empowerment and developing one’s capacities are aspects of freedom, but for a
23. Sec Marilyn J. Ray. “Women and Men: Toward Achieving Complementarity," World Ordtr 271 (Fall 1995) 9-18.
24. The Universal House of Justice, letter to the National Spiritual Assembly of New Zealand, 28 December 1980, in Light: of Cuidante not 734.
25. The Universal House of Jusrice, letter on its behalf to an individual, 1 August 1978, in Women no. 69.
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 17
Bahá’í it is freedom for a purpose. The purpose of life as expressed in the Bahá’í writings is to know and to worship God, to advance in human virtue, and to contribute to progress in human civilization. This can be seen as a mandate to create marriages in which both partners, as “helpmates” to each other, find not only sufficient opportunity but also support and genuine encouragement to discover their path of spiritual service. A marriage relationship that is holding a person back from this work of life, because of genderstereotyped expectations or otherwise, will fall short of the purpose of Bahá’í marriage. Both women and men suffer greatly from sexist expectations and restrictions. Consultation can be invaluable in the difficult and continual process of adjusting our lives to the requirements of gender equality, a process that is essential not only to justice in marriage but to peace Within and among nations.
Consultation andPrinriple—Bated Learning. While consultation is not a substantive principle On the order of unity or justice, it is fat more than a technique. It is the method by which groups can solve problems in a just and unified way, and it is also a spiritual approach to relationships and interpersonal communication generally. The habits required for consultation, such as attentive listening, courtesy, frankness, and detachment from one’s own views, are not virtues reserved for the meeting chamber of an elected Spiritual Assembly but are foundations for community-building and for close family relationships.
“Loving consultation" is “one of the keys to the strengthening of unity.”24 In a family, consultation is a way to make decisions, to communicate aspirations and mutual support, and to resolve conflict. “Family consultation,” when it employs “full and frank discussion” and is “animated by awareness of the need for moderation and balance, can be the panacea for domestic conflict.”ZS It is also
18 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
an opportunity for a couple to review together their goals and hopes and who they are as a family.
The consultative process enjoined in the Bahá’í writings applies to elected Bahá’í institutions at all levels, as well as to families. It is founded on candor and mutual respect and proceeds after establishing a shared understanding of the problem and of the relevant spiritual principles. Each individual is to participate on an equal basis, expressing his or her opinion with both frankness and courtesy and reflecting seriously on the views of others. Once an idea is spoken, it belongs not to the individual who voiced it but to the group. In this way, the
individual participants strive to transcend
their respective points of view, in order to function as members of a body with its own interests and goals. . . . Consultation succeeds to the extent that all participants support the decisions arrived at, regardless of the individual opinions with which they entered the discussion. Under such circumstances an earlier decision can be readily reconsidered if experience exposes any shortcomings.26 Such a consultative method does not resemble most current styles of negotiation, compromise, or debate, much less the adversarial method. It is not merely talking; it is most certainly not nagging, lecturing, scolding, or criticizing. The goal of consultation is not the vindication of one’s position but the investigation of truth, which is enjoined in the Bahá’í scriptures generally, and arriving at a solution to the problem. To succeed, it requires purity of motive and sincerity of intent. Bahá’í’s generally find that it proceeds best when begun with prayers. Those who have experienced good consultation will say
26.Bahá’í1ntemau'onal Community, Office of Public Information, Tb: I’mpm'ty qf Humankind in World Order26z3 (Spring 1995) 15.
that there is an exhilaration and joy that comes when the effort is sincere and the right decisions How, often in forms unanticipated by any of the participants.
“If my wife/husband and I could communicate like that, we wouldn’t have any problems to consult about!” This is the very point. Consultation, at its best, requires a deliberate and shared effort to develop the personal qualities and attitudes necessary [0 make it work. It is not surprising that so much of the therapeutic or self-help advice given to people experiencing problems in marriage revolves around improving communication. Bahá’í consultation is not an intellectual exercise that can succeed without serious personal work at the level of emotions and spirit. There are no shortcuts to achieving good interpersonal communication. If we can learn to work together in our marriages to truly consult, we will be developing qualities in the relationship that will create greater unity: concern for the other, detachment from habits and predilections, honesty, respectful ways of expressing feelings, and so on. If a teacher wants a student to develop certain qualities, he or she assigns a task in which the child wants to succeed that will call forth and require such qualities. Consultation is such a task for human development.
Consultation is also essential to collective, principle—based learning, a process that requires considerable maturity. The Bahá’í writings include certain basic, immutable laws and a structure for authoritative interpretation of Bahá’u’lláh’s writings, but most of the guidance on both personal life and social issues is in the form of principles, as distinct from rules. As mentioned, rules are fixed, independent of their surroundings, severed from the consideration of any circumstance or fact outside of the parameters of the rule itself. Principles, however, are contextual, and require contextual decision making. Applying principles, as distinct from simply obeying rules, requires continual learning and
.k
engagement in an evolutionary change process. Consultation has been referred to as “the language of shared learning.”27 Individual Bahá’ís have frequently written to the Universal House of Justice seeking specific guidance on a problem in their life, hoping that they will be told what to do. But the Universal House of Justice has consistently refused to lay down rules or give detailed directions about issues it feels should be decided within families through consultation, be it the number of children to have or how to combine child rearing and work outside the home. It recognizes explicitly in such letters that the circumstances in families vary and that the results of consultation will be different: You have asked, however, for specific rules of conduct to govern the relationships of husbands and wives. This the Universal House of Justice does not wish to do, and it feels that there is already adequate guidance included in the compilation on this subjects For example the principle that the rights of each and all in the family unit must be upheld, and the advice that loving consultation should be the keynote, that all matters should be settled in harmony and love, and that there are times when the husband and the wife should defer to the wishes of the other.28 The challenge of principle—based learning is that, rather than following detailed direc 27. Famm Arbab, a specialist in community development work around the world, unpublished address at the Bahá’í World Centre, Haifa, Israel, 1990.
28. The Universal House of Justice, lettet to an individual, 16 May 1982, in Mime): no. 72.
29. This point is made by Jane Russell, "Spiritual Vertigo at the Edge of Gender Equality,” Warld Order 27.1 (Fall 1995) 49.
30. Phyllis Kl Peterson, Anisting the Faumatizea’ Soul: Healing the Wounded 721mm": (Wilmette, Ill: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1999) 125.
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 19
tions or imitating others, it requires creating something new. Young children can follow rules or copy models of behavior, but they can only learn to apply principles as they grow in understanding, as they learn to distinguish what circumstances are relevant in deciding how to apply a principle in a given situation, and to see the principle in light of its spirit and intent. It is hard enough to handle change when one knows with some confidence what the outcome will look like. But to work for change based on principles is a severe psychological challenge. The process is bound to produce anxiety and discomfort, along with excitement, inspiration, and enticing glimpses of the possibilities. This process can be seen in Bahá’ís’ efforts to approach gender equality. We need to give up many of our gendet-steteotyped identities, but in the Bahá’í writings there are no clear definitions of masculinity and femininity with which to replace them.” This is the principle—based learning that we are called to do. The consultative approach in a family necessarily allows for flexibility as conditions change and understanding matures. It is conducive to contextual decision making. It will, if given free rein, lead to change. There is no doubt that consultation is difficult to do well, as it requires increasing degrees of personal transformation. Approaching consultation with an open mind means relinquishing the idea that we have all the answers ourselves or that we always know individually what is best. It may mean allowing ourselves to be somewhat vulnerable due to the honesty required in expressing not only our views and aspirations but our felt needs. It means welcoming the possibility of change and of moving in new directions, a frightening prospect for many. It means overcoming belief systems that say, “It is never safe to share feelings, ideas, opinions, needs or wants. . . ."30 Depression, low self-worth, and habits of controlling or manipulative behavior can be severe obstacles to consulta
20 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
tion, as are unchallenged defense mechanisms such as dissociation, irrational ot displaced anger, withdrawal or isolation, denial, or externalization (“it’s everyone else’s problem”)? If there is any window of opportunity for consultation to succeed, we may with extreme love and patience gradually minimize defenses and increase trust. We may call upon professional counselors for aid in learning to consult, in the Bahá’í meaning of the term, if the counselors are first willing themselves to be educated about the Spirit, attitude, and nature of consultation.
Some marriages are suffering from problems so deep that any cooperative process of family governance would seem like a fairy tale. Consultation cannot take place in a situation in which participants are at each other’s throats or are too bitter ot disengaged from the relationship to participate. Nor can it take place where one partner is excessively and incorrigibly dominant over (let alone abusive 00 the other. In response to letters asking for advice on marriage difficulties, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá frequently exhorted the Bahá’ís to be patient and consistently more loving with their marriage partners, even when it was not teciptocated, in a prayerful effort to restore the relationship.32 Also, the Spiritual Assembly elected in each Bahá’í community, in every tOWn or village in which there are at least nine adult Bahá’í’s, can be a vital source of help to individuals who wish guidance on problems they face, through consultation with
31. Peterson, Assisting the Fauman'zed Soul 125‘
32. The Universal House of Jusdce has dispelled any notion that the injunction to be loving, patient, and fotbeating with one‘s spouse means that abuse or violence should be toletated.
33. The Universal House of Justice, letter to a National Spiritual Assembly, 23 December 1980, in “70mm no. 71‘
34. The Universal House of Jusrice, letter to an individual, 16 May 1982, in Women no. 72.
the Assembly and/or referral to expert counselors. These efforts can be of great value at any point in a marriage that is suffering, preferably before it teaches a crisis point, However deep the problems in a marriage, the process of consultation is not an all—otnothing enterprise. To develop greater capacity and to move forward gradually, a married couple can use and build on even a slight capacity to consult on the “easiet” issues of family life.
A specific practical problem arises in consultation within a marriage that does not arise in consultation on an elected Bahá’í institution:
In any group, however loving the consultation, there are nevertheless points on which, from time to time, agreement cannot be reached. In a Spiritual Assembly this dilemma is resolved by a majotity vote. There can, however, be no majority where only two parties are involved, as in the case of a husband and wife. There are, therefore, times when a wife should defer to her husband, and times when a husband should defer to his wife, but neither should ever unjustly dominate the other.”
The Universal House of Justice stated in a subsequent letter, in response to a request for further guidance, that “[e]xactly under what circumstances such deference should take place, is a matter for each couple to determine."34
How a couple deals with the issue of one partner’s deferring to the other depends on whether they assume that they are operating within a competitive system or a unified one. If the system is competitive, deferring [0 one’s partner on any significant decision is likely to be experienced negatively as, “I lose. You win. And you owe me.” If the family system is felt to be a unified whole, who should defer to whom in a given case may be determined on some relevant and equal basis that is free of gendet—bias. There are far more rational and useful bases for choosing
[Page 21]
to defer to one another than the genderbased default approach that, when in doubt,
the husband decides. Such rational bases might
include, for example: Who will be most
affected by the decision? Who cares the most
about it? Who has greater experience with
the subjeCt matter? Who should be encouraged to take responsibility for making (and
possibly carrying out) the decision, to gain
experience in the given area? Deferring in
this way can be experienced positively as a
successful effort seeking the good of the family
as a whole.
As with any decision arrived at through consultation, participants must then follow through with the decision wholeheartedly, regardless of their original views—it is now “our decision,” not mine or yours—so that the door will remain open to alter the decision if the need becomes apparent. This avoids creating partisan feelings of ownership or defenses that impede subsequent frank reevaluation and reconsideration. Such detachment requires enormous personal maturity.
Aspects of Family Governance THE foundational principles of the family as a unit composed of individuals with rights and duties, of unity as operating mandate, of justice as equality and mutual support, and of consultation as attitude and method can be applied to any family structure or situation and can inform any approach to underStanding family governance. Insights about applying these fundamental principles can be found by looking at political concepts that have useful parallels at the family level. At the core of a governing system at the local or national level, there are institutions and agencies of government, each with prescribed jurisdiction, authority, responsibilities, links to other institutions, and standards or customs of engagement with members of the public and private organizations. What are the basic aspects of governance at the family level that compose a comparable system? They
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 21
can be identified though a series of practical questions.
What Are Cammon Aflhz’n? Logically, the first aspect of family governance is establishing the scope of what is to be jointly governed. If governance, local to international, is the sum of the many ways common affairs are managed, the system requires first some agreement about the scope of what are considered ”common affairs.” In government structures the question is one of jurisdiction: What is the scope of authority of government generally, or of any particular institution, be it legislative, judicial, or executive? In the United States, governmental jurisdiction is limited generally by the constitutional principle of individual privacy, as well as by countless other constitutional provisions and legal standards.
One way to approach common affairs in family governance is to think about how a marriage differs from the closest of friendships. Does it make sense to talk about “friendship governance”? In a friendship there may be many joint decisions, but the sense of creating a new entity that requires some form of structure to function well is absent. The commitment to join lives through marriage generally entails assuming joint responsibilities (especially when there are children), sharing material resources, and creating a relationship of mutual dependency, in the sense that each is necessarily affected by the other’s feelings, actions, and experiences. Issues that were entirely individual concerns before marriage become joint concerns. The sexual relationship and interactions with one’s spouse’s family members add further “common affairs" and complex dynamics that distinguish a marriage from a friendship.
Families will naturally diEer in what they consider the scope of their common affairs, but there are limits. Although a husband and wife are to become so united as to be “even as a single soul,” their identities are not merged, legally or spiritually. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá,
_
?_fi
22 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
in a marriage prayer, quotes the Koran: “‘He hath let loose the two seas, that they meet each other: Between them is a barrier which they overpass not. A . 3”” Each remains responsible for his or her own spiritual destiny and is warned against excessive attachment to the other or loving the other to the exclusion of God. Individuals are not subsumed.
In one respect, every aspect of each partner’s life, however personal, may potentially be a common concern of the marriage, given the deep interdependence of the relationship. But this does not necessarily imply that every thought and feeling must be shared, much less that every decision must be joint. What to share and what to reserve as a personal matter or individual choice (though possibly aided by consultative input) will vary with different individuals and relationships. It is worth focusing on this aspect, however, to see that some conflicts may originate with disagreement about what is or is not a common affair. Minor issues such as what one partner chooses to wear, material issues such as what kind of car to buy, or scheduling issues such as whether one works on the weekend may be regarded as personal issues in one marriage, joint issues in another, and cause friction in a third because there is no agreement as to who has a voice in making the decision.
Who Hold: Authority? The central issue in any governance system is the question of who holds authority. In the U.S. government
35, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá’, 'Ln Bahá’u’lláh, the Báb, and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Balad'll’mym': A Selection Of Prayer: Revealed by Babti’u’lldb. the Bib, and Hbdu'l—Ba/Id. new ed. (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1991) 106.
36. In a family including other adults, the family “government” will certainly include others as well. The roles of grandparents and other adult relatives, whether or not they are patt of the same household, is an important subject for family governance but is not addressed in this limited essay.
system, “the people” are considered to have conferred authority on the federal government to act for the purposes, in the manner, and within the limitations imposed by the Constitution. If social—contract theory were applied to marriage, upon whom would the partners be conferring authority and for what purposes? Applying social—contract or any other foundational political theory would have to come to the conclusion that authority is held jointly by husband and wife, if it is nor to contradict the injunction that neither husband nor wife should “unjustly dominate the other.” In other words, “the government" of the family is wife and husband, acting together."
Of course, a couple may allocate responsibilities between themselves, thus dividing up their joint authority, but it is still significant, in concept and practice, to see an allocation of responsibilities as a way to carry out joint authority rather than as creating separate authority. For example, if it is agreed or understood that one of the partners will have the responsibility and authority for issue X, but she or he fails to exercise it or carries it out in a way that raises a serious concern for the other partner, the couple needs to revisit the issue together. The second partner cannot simply wash his or her hands of it because it is “the other person’s job.” In other words, wife and husband are each ultimately responsible for everything of common concern in the family, whatever arrangements are made to allocate roles. This is somewhat analogous to “joint and several liability” in law. Two people may undertake a joint obligation, but either party may be called upon to carry it out individually in full (not half) if the other fails to do so.
In one traditional family pattern, all major authority is assumed to be held by the husband. When that is challenged as incompatible with gender equality, the alternative seems to be that the wife should “wear the pants in the family.” But no model of sole individual
authority will be satisfactory. Joint authority is still new, relatively unexplored territory. We know how to follow each other. but we are just figuring out how to walk side by side.
Is the authority to make decisions a right or a responsibility? A privilege or a burden? In public democratic governance, accountability should follow decision-making authority. Whoever makes a decision should be accountable for the consequences of that decision. Is there some form of accountability in a marriage or family? Can a couple call themselves to account, jointly and/or separately, for achieving shared purposes in a way that strengthens unity and mutual encouragement? To be able to look back at decisions together with sufficient detachment to evaluate them honestly and to learn from them is an indication of maturity in a family governance system.
How Are Responsibilities Allatatm'? Closely related to governing authority is the question of allocating responsibilities. Any governance system requires structure, some degree of specialization of function, routine ways to carry out routine matters, and orderly processes to deal with the nonroutine. Family governance is no different. In some families, spheres of responsibility of each partner for relatively routine matters will be strongly defined, with one partner rarely concerning herself or himself with the other’s sphere. In other families, respective responsibilities will be only loosely defined, with partners frequently sharing the same responsibilities. I—Iow responsibilities are allocated between wife and husband, and when they should change, is a subject for consultation and agreement between the couple. There may be tremendous variation in family patterns in this regard, all consistent with foundational Bahá’í principles.
Consultation on roles and responsibilities will be aided by recognizing the close but elusive connection betWeen responsibility and authority. For a person to assume a certain “role" in a family generally means that he or
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 23
she has a set of responsibilities for carrying out certain activities. The question with respect to authority is: How much latitude does the person have in deciding [flaw to carry out those activities? A cook or a housekeeper has the responsibility to prepare meals and care for the house, but he or she has a duty to do so according to the wishes of the employer, to whatever level of detail the employer wishes to specify. The only decision-making authority involved is at the very lowest levels. A business CEO, however, has the responsibiligy for supervising management and seeing that the company makes a profit; she or he generally has the widest latitude in deciding how to do this, entailing a high level of authority in major decision making. In other words, in some situations “responsibilities” simply means assigned tasks; in others it implies high-level authority. In the family context, allocation of responsibilities may or may not entail an allocation of much authority, depending on how involved each partner wishes to be (or wishes the other to be) in any given sphere of responsibilities. Despite the allocation of responsibilities to facilitate daily life, every common affair remains a subject of joint authority to be reconsidered jointly when either partner feels it is necessary.
One may take 3 rights approach, a subservient approach, or a family-unity approach to the responsibilities one has assumed. For example, if one partner is generally responsible for preparing meals, one could take the rightS-based attitude: “If I’m doing the cooking, I have the right to cook whatever I like.” The opposite subservient extreme is to feel compelled to prepare only what pleases the other partner, regardless of one's own preferences. A family—unity approach would avoid either of these extremes, valuing opportunities to serve and to please one’s partner but without feeling that entire self—abnegation is always required.
Although allocating responsibilities is generally to be decided through consulta _
24 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
tion, the Bahá’í writings do include principles specifically bearing on the responsibilities of husband and wife. (“The task of bringing up a Bahá’í child . . . is the chief responsibility of the mother. . . 3”” “O ye loving mothers, know ye that in God’s sight, the best of all ways to worship Him is to educate the children and train them in all the perfections of humankind; and no nobler deed than this can be imagined.”33 A “corollary of this responsibility of the mother is her right to be supported by her husband. . . .“39 “This by no means implies that these functions are inflexibly fixed and cannot be changed and adjusted to suit particular family situations, nor does it mean that the place of the woman is confined to the home.”‘“’ Fixing the responsibilities of mothers and fathers to be child—rearing and financial support, respectively, has generally throughout history excluded women from full participation in business, economics, government, and public life because of the requirements imposed by the social and economic systems to which families have had to conform. The
37. Shoghi Effendi, letter on his behalf, in the Universal House of Justice, letter to a National Spiritual Assembly, 23 December 1980, in “70mm no. 7L
38. 'Abdu’LBaha, Selenium 139‘
39. Shoghi Effendi. letter on his behalf, in the Universal House of Justice, letter to a National Spiritual Assembly, 23 December 1980, in Womm no. 71.
40. The Universal House of Justice, letter to an individual, 9 August 1984, in Wm”: no. 74. On the importance of consultation in developing an egalitarian environment among family members, see Hoda Mahmoudi and Richard Dchll, “Rights and Responsibilities in the Bahá’í Family System,"joumal of Bahá’í Studies 5.2 (June-Septembcr 1992): 6—8.
4L Shoghi Effendi, Bahá’í/idminixtmtion: Selected M:.rmgt:1922—32, 1974 ed. (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1998 printing) 63—64.
|___Linjunction in the Bahá’í writings that women are to enter into full partnership with men in all fields of human endeavor but are also to be the first educators of their children requires shifts in social and economic systems that are only now beginning to attract serious attention.
How the principles on “chief responsibilities" should be applied in any given family at any period in its life is for the parents to decide, through consultation. A pitfall to avoid is reading the Bahá’í writings selectively and thereby justifying (consciously or otherwise) one’s own current assumptions. The Bahá’í writings embody a blending of ideals on a variety of subjects that have usually been considered incompatible opposites. For example, one can emphasize honesty and the frank expression of one’s views or the responsibility to be courteous and respectful, the prohibition on backbiting or the desirability of consultation with one’s Spiritual Assembly to solve problems. On gender, one can emphasize the sanctity of motherhood 01 the requirement that women become the peers of men in public life. In all of these cases, it is not a question of choosing one or the other. It is figuring out, as Shoghi Effendi writes, how to do both:
Nothing short of the spirit ofa true Bahá’í can hope to reconcile the principles of mercy and justice, of freedom and submission, of the sanctity of the right of the individual and of self—sutrender, of vigilance, discretion, and prudence on the one hand, and fellowship, candor, and courage on the other.“ Blending parenthood with work life will continue to be an act of deep compromise until business culture can be transformed into a system that supports and complements rather than competes with family life and the needs of children. Who Participate: in What? A wife and husband must consider not only their own consultative process and responsibilities but
also the participation of children in family governance. In public governance today, the question of participation in agenda-setting, planning, decision making, implementation of decisions, and evaluation is coming to the fore in countless situations, from local environmental issues to global development strategy In brief, a principle is emerging that people are entitled to take part in some manner in the making of decisions that affect them, in spite of the enormous practical difficulties the application of this principle may create. The moral reasons and practical benefits are many: Better decisions are made when those most knowledgeable “on the ground” are involved; participation creates a sense of collective ownership that greatly improves the chances of successful implementation; “inclusiveness" as a moral principle helps to break down divisive social barriers of all kinds and to reduce alienation; and, perhaps most fundamentally, participation is a means by which individuals gain self-esteem and self—respect. learn to take responsibility for their own lives, mature both as individuals and as members of groups, and generally become more “empowered.”
All of the bases for participation in public decision making suggest similar reasons for encouraging high levels of involvement by all family members concerned with a particular decision or issue. Such participation may itself be an important way by which marriage partners can help each other to expand their capacities and advance.
The wide range of issues relating to involving children in family governance is beyond the scope of this essay, but they must at least be introduced. When children express the opinion that they should have a “vote” in family decisions, parents have been known to reply, “This is not a democracy!" While true, this response is not particularly censtructive if it ends the discussion. There are clear benefits to involving children in the processes of family governance from as early
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 25
an age as possible. When a father and a mother consult to resolve a problem, it sets a good example for the children. Moreover, when parents consult with children wisely, according to the children’s capacity, the children learn to think deeply. Parents can take into account the children’s feelings and needs. The end result will be greater family unity and obedience because the children will know they have been heard. Always dictating to children deprives them of the opportunity to learn how to consult and to acquire the attitudes and qualities necessary for loving and effective consultation.
It may be easier for children to be part of the process if they understand that there are various types of decisions in which they may participate in different ways at different ages. Parents may delegate an increasing amount of decision-making authority to children as they grow. For example, when a child is young, the parents will retain full authority but can welcome consultative input from the child. There may be some minor decisions that parents can let young children make by themselves after consultation, for “practice.” As a child matures, the balance gradually shifts until the parents may feel that for some decisions the child (most likely a teenager by then) should be considered an equal participant in the consultation. As children approach adulthood, they will no doubt have to make many decisions for themselves, but having learned to appreciate the value of family consultation in earlier years may encourage them to seek it out, even in cases in which they hold sole authority to make the final decision.
There may be severe negative consequences for children when the parents’ governance system is dysfunctional, when the children know that, when Mom says no, they can ask Dad and get a different answer. The results will frequently be divisive behavior and family—wide conflict. If there is a vacuum in parental governance (that is, decisions are
i l
I 1 i l
26 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
inconsistent, or no one is making decisions that are consistently applied), children will generally find a way to fill the vacuum with undesirable choices.
How Much “Formal” Consultation andHow Much Infarmzzl Protest? Another aspect of family governance is finding a balance between formal and informal processes. Local, national, and international governance systems inevitably include some combination of the two. Legislative procedures to enact a law are formal, but they are generally intertwined with hallway conversations, informal lobbying, and other casual interactions, the effects of which are hard to measure. In a family, there are no legally required procedures for making decisions, but it is more formal, for example, for a couple to sit down at the kitchen table, say a prayer, identify the issue and facts, and consult to resolve a certain problem than to have an unplanned discussion while doing a short errand together. Both approaches can work well, depending on the couple and on the nature of the problem, provided that they are both based on the consultative attitude and spirit. What is not discussed explicitly must be agreed to or accepted implicitly. An advantage to more formal consultation is that it requires closet selfexamination and can reduce the likelihood of acting on unexamined assumptions, habits, cultural customs, or gendered stereotypes. Some families may find, however, that there is little or infrequent need for formal consul 42i ‘Abdu’l-Bahá says to “Settle all things, both great and small, by consultations” Compi/arian ofCampilatiom, lzno. 185; also in Bahá’u’lláh, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá’, Shoghi Effendi, and the Universal House of Justice, Comu/mrim: A Compilatian—Exrmm from the Writing: and Uttemncex Of Bahá’u’lláh, Hba'u’l—Ba/yd, Shag/n' Effendi, and The Uniutmzl Ham: offum'te, comp. Research Department of the Universal House of Justice, 2d ed (VVih-nette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1995) no. 19.
,L
tation. In any case, formal consultation is an important learning process that is valuable beyond solving an immediate problem and beyond the family context and should not be considered only a last resort. Whether formal or informal, the more deliberate and conscious a family governance system is the better, particularly early on in the most formative stages of a relationship.
According to my husband, too much formal consultation makes for a bad “chicks’ movie”—-that is, the injunctions in the Bahá’í writings to consult about “all things” do not mean that every detail in married life must be the topic of focused consultation and joint agreement.‘l By temperament, people have various levels of interest in and tolerance for extended discussion; documented diEerences in communication styles generally between men and women also can create imbalances that hinder good consultation unless they are understood. Respecting each other’s temperaments is important to family governance. Consultation misused as a hammer, or in some fashion to control another, is not consultation. The opposite extreme is excessive passivity—fot example, when a wife or husband says, “I let my husband/wife make the decisions, but he/she tells me if something is important enough for us to consult about. Otherwise, I don’t interfere." This is an abdication of the joint responsibility on which family governance is based.
To try to get through a marriage without developing the capacity to consult formally. either because one partner is overly dominant or because one or both partners are not naturally “talkers,” is a great loss, given what the Bahá’í writings say about the virtues and effectiveness of good consultation. Learning to consult is a capacity that serves not only the family but is essential to governing in the wider community.
HawDoe: Infirmatian and Communimmm Flawao exercise joint authority and to make well—informed decisions, a couple must pay
[Page 27]
some attention to the question of how information and communication flow. In public
systems, democratic governance requires
methods to make information available to
the public, without which meaningful participation is impossible. This is known as
“transparency” and is essential to governmental
accountability. Decision making “behind
closed doors,” deals made “under the table,”
or procedures that are arbitrary or excessively
complex all reduce transparency and increase
distrust of governmental institutions.
The implications of transparency for family governance are important. At a minimum, they suggest that one partner’s monopolizing information about a common affair effectively blocks the other partner’s participation and is, therefore, equivalent to assuming individual authority or control. How much information a particular fmily wishes or needs to share will vary enormously. Communication of all kinds between a couple is an essential element of the marriage relationship that is important not only For governing the family but for overall unity.
How Are Conflict: Resolved? A_n aspect of family governance that cannot be overlooked is how conflicts are resolved. It is characteristic of most of our public dispute—resolution methods that they do not preserve the relationship between the parties. Adversarial methods typically drive parties further into their comers. Traditional mediation and arbitration techniques are not necessarily much better. Some alternative approaches, such as pcace—making circles and neighborhood
43. This model was developed by Ralph Kilman and Kenneth Thomas. The description here is taken from Richard G. Weaver and John D. Farrell, Managers A5 Farilitamm A l’rarlical Guide to Getting \%rk Dan: in a Changing Warkplace (San Flancisco: Berrett-Kochler Publishers, 1999) 88—96.
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 27
mediation programs, aim not only to resolve conflicts but to improve mutual understanding and to create a sense of unity among the parties Such approaches may prevent or minimize future conflicts between parties in an ongoing relationship; parties who are not likely to have further contact with each other can come to a sense of both closure and peace. In many cases people who have taken part in such a process report it to be a personally transforming experience. They say that being able to see a dispute from the “enemy’s” point of view for the first time, experiencing deep levels of human empathy in spite of the enormous pain that has been inflicted or suffered, is unforgettable.
In a marriage the goal in resolving conflicts is to do so in a way that increases mutual understanding and improves the relationship. Conflict can thereby become an opportunity rather than a problem. The Bahá’í writings anticipate that there will be situations in which consultation does not yield agreement and that one partner will defer to the other. Deferring is a last resort, at least for any issue of importance. Specialists in dispute resolution and group processes use a variety of approaches to map strategies for creating agreement. To find alternatives to either insisting on one’s way or deferring to another, it may be useful to examine professional approaches to resolving conflicts.
One model of how people deal with conflict describes a person’s behavior along two axes: (1) assertiveness, the extent to which one attempts to satisfy his or her own concerns, and (2) cooperativmm, the extent to which one attempts to satisfy the other person’s concerns.“3 Various combinations of high and low assertiveness and cooperativeness produce the five following responses to a conflict situation. Everyone is capable of operating in any of these five modes, but we each seem to have preferences among them, which may vary in different environments—for example, at work or home:
____———_
28 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
a. Avoiding (unassettive and uncooperative),by postponing the issue or withdrawing from the situation;
b. Competing (assertive and uncooperative), by using whatever power one has to pursue one’s own concerns, even if at the other‘s expense;
c. Accommaa'ating (unassertive and cooperative), by neglecting one’s own concerns and yielding to the other;
d. Compromising (partially assertive and partially cooperative), by finding a mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies each; and
e. Callabamting (highly assertive and highly cooperative), by finding a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of each, generally requiring that the parties go deeper into the issue and generating more mutual understanding than the other modes.
Collaborating emerges from this list as the
most constructive and desirable mode for resolving important conflicts since it fully satisfies both parties, blends insights, produces learning, and achieves commitment by finding a consensus decision, but it is not always necessary, possible, or the best approach. Each of the modes has a use and a place. Avoiding a conflict and revisiting it later, perhaps to let people cool down or when the potential damage of dealing with a conflict outweighs the benefits of its resolution, may sometimes be preferable. Campromising may be useful for arriving at quick solutions under time pressures at when goals are only moderately important. Accommodating (deferring) may be appropriate when the issue is much more important to the other person, when preserving harmony is especially critical, or when it is used as an expression of goodwill to help maintain a cooperative relationship. Even the competing mode
44. Weaver and Farrell, Manager: A; Fatilitttlor: 8896.
may be necessary, for example, in an emergency or possibly to protect oneself from people who take advantage of noncompetitive behavior.“
Much of the literature on group conflict resolution and on communication in marriage is relevant to learning how to consult lovingly and effectively in the way enjoined in the Bahá’í writings. But, ultimately, whatever the agreed resolution to a particular problem, the results will only be as good as the partners’ joint will and ability to carry out the agreement. Commitment by both partners to own the agreement is essential. Otherwise, the consultative process, however well carried out, is stripped of its power.
Ignoring conflict will not generally make it go away. Unresolved conflict festers and gradually harms a relationship. Unity requires learning how to prevent, resolve, and transcend conflict; unity is not served by thinking that “no conflict” and “pretending there is no conflict” are the same thing. Conflict becomes an opportunity when it is seized, in love and patience, as a chance to better understand oneself and one’s partner and, more difficult still, to change. How to deal with conflict should be a particularly important subject for discussion between newlyweds or, better yet, before marriage. it is easier to be rational and detached about methods of solving problems when major conflict is still hypothetical.
Haw Doe: the Sthem Change and Adjust Over Time’An important aspect of a family governance system is that it is not static, any more than is any system of public governance. New laws and agencies are created to accommodate minor or moderate change; a constitutional amendment is required to alter the foundations in response to major change, either in social conditions or collective values. Conditions within and around the family also fluctuate, as children grow, jobs change, new opportunities and capacities emerge, and life happens. The first sign
4?
[Page 29]
that change has taken place may be that one
partner feels that what has been sufficient in
the past is no longer working well and that
something needs to be reconsidered jointly.
Conclusion: Bomb Mare Sacred and Eternal WHEN the fairy tale ends, and the radiant couple, ever so much in love, exit to live happily ever after, they should assume that they still have a great deal to discover about each other. They should assume that their abiding love will see them through all of the fortuities and exigencies of life but that their love will need to become ever more selfless and that there will at times be conflict. They should assume that, even when their needs, their callings, and their dreams do not naturally synchronize, they can be harmonized. They should assume that developing the qualities and Capacity for good consultation will require effort and that this effort will be rewarded with increased confidence in their joint ability to advance as a family and along their individual paths as well. They should assume that they both have much to learn about equality and justice and that the fruit of this learning will be the joy and strength of ever-increasing unity. They should assume that if they have children, all of these capacities will be tested and stretched to the extreme.
Foundational Bahá’í principles—the family as a unit, unity as operating mandate, justice as equality and mutual support, and consultation as attitude and method—support the view of a family as, ideally, not only a place for nurturing the most intimate of relationships but as a workshop for learning
45 The Universal House of Justice. [CHEF (0 a National Spiritual Assembly, 22 September 1983, in Light: of Guidam: no. 740.
46. Shoghi Effendi, Dawn of a New Day (NCW Delhi: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, [1970]) 106.
FAMILY GOVERNANCE 29
to govern the world in peace. Any issue of political governance has a parallel at the family level. If one understands the concept of common aflairs in a family, one will be better able to promote collective responsibility for environmental problems. If a couple can figure out how to exercise truly joint authority and to allocate responsibilities at home, they have a better chance of breaking down rigid hierarchical social and institutional structures and replacing them with accountable but broadly participatory and transparent processes. If children, as they grow up, assume an increasing role in family decision making, they learn the value of each person’s contribution, and they will seek to be inclusive of others Most fundamentally, if the principles of Bahá’í consultation, including at their core the qualities of detachment, respect, and truthseeking, are learned at home, they will be applied to public affairs to lead communities and societies out of their intensely adversarial, divisive, and selfish ways. Competition, in all of its overt and subtle forms, will remain the dominant mind—set in society until it can be demonstrated that unity is a viable alternative.
The potential for good family governance to have an impact on society at large, and the impossibility of establishing SOCiaJ peace when families are dysfunctional, are not theoretical observations but mandates for new behavior. The Universal House of Justice has written that, if individuals “are not able to maintain harmony within their families, . . . . [w]hat possible influence could they hope to exert on the development of nations and the establishment of world peacerMS New behavior can only flow from new understandings and from opportunities to put them into practice.
Families and communities are interdependent in the Bahá’í system. Shoghi Effendi wrote that the Bahá’ís “are one spiritual family, held together by bonds more sacred and eternal than those physical ties which make people of the same family.“6 Families and
30 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
local Bahá’í communities may become so intertwined that it will be difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins. The social pattern for the future may well be extended families, but extended by love and spirit rather than blood. The benefits to children of having a “family” of adults around them are well known, popularized by the phrase, uIt takes a village to raise a child.” Bahá’í communities place the highest value on involving children and youth as integral members in the life of the community so that they may share in its Vision and purpose and know profoundly that they are loved. As in some traditional cultures in which unrelated but close adults are called “aunts” or ”uncles” or some other familial title, many Bahá’í children are fortunate enough to feel that they have a wider family within the community. This is a goal to which Bahá’í families and communities aspire, and it is increasingly becoming a reality.
The sense of a spiritually extended family is vital not only to children but to adults and perhaps especially to single adults of any age. Marriage is described in the Bahá’í writings as a “fortress for well—being,” in the sense that it provides protection and strength.‘87 It is not a fortress intended to separate and divide. The feeling that many single adults experience of being on the outside of family life could dissolve if we learned to create spiritually extended families. The boundaries between family and community could blur, habits and practices of good family gover 47. Bahá’u’lláh, in Bahá’u’lláh, The Báb, and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Buhd YPmytn 105.
48. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Prumulgation of Universal Pear: 93.
Li a W ,,
nance could transfer imperceptibly, and the loneliness and isolation that have been described as the characteristics of our age could dissipate, replaced by a sense of belonging and of mutual support and care. This is the vision, as the Bahá’í community aspires to extend its sense of being a spiritual family to embrace humanity. Family governance, viewed as a microcosm of political governance at any level, is where peace begins.
Beyond the relationship between a matried couple that has been addressed here, many other aspects of family governance require close attention. These include in-depth concern for the participation of children and teenagers; roles of grandparents, stepparents, and divorced parents; struggles particular to single-parent families; and governance in extended families. Families can learn much from each other’s efforts and experiences with different styles of family governance and with various ways of integrating prayer and study of the Bahá’í writings into family life. It would be useful for Bahá’í communities to address themselves to finding ways to facilitate inter—family learning. A great deal can also be learned from family traditions in indigenous cultures, including ways in which they create strong connections with former and future generations.
Governance remains no more than a means, but it is a means to do that which matters most at any level of social organization, from the family to the world: to carry out the requirements of love and justice. Love remains the foundation—a love that is based on spiritual reality. As ‘Abdu’l-Bahá said, “Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. . . . There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you look toward the people themselves. . . . The eye that covers faults looks toward the Creator of souls.”‘38
[Page 31]
The Cocoon
Comes equipped With chemistry And blueprint Necessary to develop Itself 111(0 a butterfly. My soul, In this cocoon, Waits for the chemisrry Of the mind and will To perform its magic Through toil, tears, and terror Until the wings of letting go Can spread their chastened colors And I can fly.
——Monica Reller
('npynglu (9 2001 by Mnnka Rcller
31
Ln;
f—__—_fl
33
Eradicating Gender—Based Violence: Successes and Challenges
BY MICHAEL L PENN
Introduction AROSS the planet, and over the centuries, various forms of violence against women and girIs have been an everyday part of humanity’s social life. In the middle of the nineteenth century, however, a movement bent on eradicating gender—related abuses and uplifting the station of women burst upon the world. Among the progenitors of this movement were two women, one from the East, the other from the West.
At a time and in a country in which women were denied the most basic rights, the Persian poetess, Qurtatu‘I-‘Ayn (also known as Tfihirih) openly proclaimed the equality of the sexes in a gathering of followers of the Bábi Faith. In the 18405, in a symbolic representation of one of the many new teachings she had embraced, Táhirih became the first Middle—Eastern woman ever reported to
Copygigm © 2001 by Michael L. Penn, This essay is Part of a longer work entitled “A Brief History of the Global Campaign to Eradicate Gcnder-Based Violence." soon [0 be published on-line by Juxta Publishing, Ltd. I wish to thank Landegg International University and Franklin 8c Marshall College for insritutional support during the preparation of this article. In addition, I Wish (0 thank the editors of LVarldom'cr, and especially DL Betty 1. Fisher, for invaluable help in shaping this ”’53)"
I. Nabil-i—A‘zarn [Muhammad-i-Zarandi] TthaumBr:nlzm:Nabll’s Narrative of the Early Day: of the Bahá’í Rtuelan'an, trans. and ed Shoghi Effendi (Wilmette, 11.: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1932) 294—95.
have removed her veil in public. A social history of the period captures the reactions she provoked as she presented herself“adorned and unveiled"—before a company of men, her fellow Bábis, at a gathering known as the Conference of Badasht: suddenly the figure of Táhirih, adorned and unveiled, appeared before the eyes of the assembled companions. Consternation immediately seized the entire gathering. All stood aghast before this sudden and most unexpected apparition. To behold her face unveiled was to them inconceivable. Even to gaze at her shadow was a thing which they deemed improper. . . . Quietly, silently, and with utmost dignity, Ta’hirih stepped forward and, advancing towards Quddfis, seated herself on his tight-hand side. Her unrufiqed serenity sharply contrasted with the affrighted countenances of those Who were gazing upon her face. Fear, anger, and bewilderment stirred the depths of their souls. That sudden revelation seemed to have stunned their faculties. ‘Abdu’l-K_ha’.qu—iIsféhénf was so gravely shaken that he cut his throat with his own hands. Covered with blood and shrieking with excitement, he fled away from the face of Táhirih. A few, following his example, abandoned their companions and forsook their Faith. A number were seen standing speechless before her, confounded with wonder.1 In 1848, when the authorities could no longer abide either the new spiritual teach 4
34 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
ings that she championed or the remarkable social audacity she displayed, they arranged for Táhirih’s execution. As the hour of her death approached, she is reported to have said, (“You can kill me as soon as you like, but you cannot stop the emancipation of women.”2 In that same year—in Seneca Falls, New York—Elizabeth Cady Stanton, joined by one man, Frederick Douglass, and a company of inspired women, initiated the women’s movement in the West.
Stanton’s oration at the opening of the Seneca Falls Convention was no less memorable than Táhirih’s bold unveiling at the Conference of Badafit. On Wednesday, 19 July 1848, Stanton arose and addressed the assembled delegates:
. . . Verily, the world waits the coming of some new element, some purifying power, some spirit of mercy and love. The voice of woman has been silenced in the state, the church, and the home, but man cannot fulfill his destiny alone, he cannot redeem his race unaided. . . . The world has never seen a truly great and virtuous nation, because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source. It is vain to look for silver and gold from mines of copper and lead. It is the wise Mother that has the wise son. So long as your women are slaves you may throw your colleges and Churches
2‘ Quoted in Shoghi Effendi, Gad Plum By, intro. George Townshend, rev. ed. (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, (1974; 1999 printing) 75.
3. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Camrpona'mte, Writingx, Speeches, edi Ellen Carol DuBuis (New York: Schocken, 198]) 28—35, quoted in Bradford Millet, Returning M 5:71:01 Falls: Th: First Wmm} Righls Convention é‘It: Mtaningfierm é‘Womm Today (Hudson, NY: Lindisfarne Press, 1995) 19—20.
4. Quoted in United Nations, Tl]: United Nation: and the Adwmrlmmt of Women (New York: United Nations Office of Public Information, 1995) 14,
to the winds. . . . Truly are the sins of the fathers visited upon the children to the third and fourth generation. God, in his wisdom, has so linked the whole human family together that any violence done at one end of the chain is felt throughout its length, and here, too, is the law of testoration, as in woman all have fallen, so in her elevation shall the race be recreated.‘ Although the women’s movement would enjoy several impressive victories in the decades following the momentous events in Persia and in Seneca Falls, it would take more than a Full century before efforts to eradicate gender—based violence would begin to capture the attention of the world. The processes contributing to the globalization of this campaign can be traced to the founding of the United Nations in June 1945; to the creation of the Commission on Human Rights in February 1946 and of the Commission on the Status of Women in June of that same year; and to the adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in December 1948. A review of the main features of the efforts to eradicate gender—based violence, when viewed from the petspective of the world’s wisdom traditions, suggests how eradicating gender—based violence might become a reality.
The Globalization of the Eflbrt to
Eradicate Gender—Based Violence THE establishment of the United Nations’ Commission on the Status of Women was among the most significant early developments in the globalization of the women’s movement. At its inaugural meeting, held in February 1947, the Commission resolved to work “to raise the status of women, irrespective of nationality, race, language or religion," to establish “equality with men in all fields of human enterprise, and to eliminate all discrimination against women in the provision of statutory law, in legal maxims or rules, or in interpretations of customary law.M
As significant and far teaching as these goals were, no mention was made about the need to eliminate sexual and/or physical violence against women and girls. It would take several more decades before this problem would receive sustained international public attention and be adopted as a significant concern of the world body.
The UniversalDetlaration of Hu man Rights. Nevertheless, one of the earliest and most important accomplishments of the Commission on the Status of Women—an accomplishment that would ultimately prove vital to the campaign to eradicate gender—based violence—was the Commission’s influence on shaping the language of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Upon the Commission’s insistence, the Declaration, which was adopted in Paris on 10 December 1948 by unanimous vote, was divested of its gender—insensitive language and tailored to affirm, explicitly, the equality of women and men.S The Preamble to the Declaration sets the tone by affirming the UN’s commitment to the equality of the sexes: “the peoples of the United Nations have in the Charter reaffirmed their faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person and in the equal rights of men and women.”
Convention on the PaliticalRig/Jts of Women. Another significant step in advancing women’s human rights was taken in 1952 when the UN General Assembly adopted the Convention on the Political Rights of Women. Entered into force in 1954, this Convention was the first instrument of international law framed specifically for the protection of the political rights of women everywhere. It provides that the women of the world. whatever their homeland, are entitled to vote
5. United 1:1ations, Unitszzm'om and tileAdmm-zmm: ofWomm 16‘
ERADICATING GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE 35
in any election, run for any political office, exercise any public function, and hold any public position that a man may hold.
Equulity of \Var/e and Education. In the areas of work and education, the Commission on the Status of Women also began to gain an appreciation for the impact of inequality on women’s quality of life. Near the end of the 19405 it collaborated with the International Labour Organization on women’s economic rights. The fruit of that collaboration was the inclusion in the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights of an article (Article 23) specifying that everyone, without discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work. The Commission also collaborated with UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization) in developing basic educational programs that would aflord women and girls the same access to education that is provided to men and boys. Although great disparities in access to education continue in many countries, this early work brought to the United Nations a consciousness of the importance of education to women’s advancement.
Canventz'om on Marriage anal Discriminatie" against W/amen, 1955—62. Since the right to nationality is the political basis for many other rights, and since many national laws require that married women automatically take their husband’s nationality, international human-rights observers noted that this tradition left many women vulnerable to losing their own nationality without their consent. Divorced women, or women who chose to leave their husbands, were particularly vulnerable to becoming stateless. Recognizing this vulnerability, the Commission on the Status of Women completed a draft treaty on the nationality rights of married women and in 1955 submitted it to the UN General Assembly. The Convention on the Nationality of Married Women provided for the right of a woman to retain her nationality if she
_,_4_A____.
L W
36 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
so desired, even if her nationality would be different from that of her husband Although the Convention was approved in 1957, and the treaty came into force in 1958, the resistance of some governments to many of the treaty provisions signaled the difficulties that would attend any effort to secure nationality rights for women that were independent of those of their husbands.“
A second measure adopted by the United Nations relating to marriage was the Convention and Recommendation on Consent to Marriage, Minimum Age for Marriage and Registration of Marriages. Adopted by the General Assembly in November 1962, and entered into force in December 1964, the Convention was necessary because of the widespread practice of forced child marriage. It requires that no marriage take place without the full and free consent of both parties but leaves it to individual governments to determine the minimum age at which one may enter into a marriage. With the exception of provisions in the Declaration on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women (1967), and the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (1979), the agreements framed between 1955 and 1962 constitute all the international agreements entered into by the United Nations related to women’s rights in marriage.7
Early Efim‘: to Eliminate Gma’er—Basm' Violence. In the 19505 the Commission on the Status of Women began to express teservations about what amounted to violence
6. United Nations, Unitthatiam and the Advamemmt of Wm”: 20,
7. United Nations, UnitIdNatiom and the Advancement ofVVamen 22.
8. Quoted in United Nations. United Nation: and 2/12 Advancement 17f Women 22-23.
9. United Nations, United Natiom anal 1h: Advamemzm afW/omm 23.
perpetrated against women in the name of customary law, religious practices, and traditional ceremonies. Such traditional practiceswhich include female genital circumcision, virginity tests, dowry and widow burnings, and early childhood marriages—wete brought to the attention of Member States who were encouraged to “take immediately all necessary measures with a view to abolishing. . . . all customs which violate the physical integrity of women, and which thereby violate the dignity and worth of the human person as proclaimed in the Charter and in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.”3 In the General Assembly the response of Member States was mixed. Some maintained that only a gradual process of education could lead to the eradication of such practices; some suggested that the eEort to abolish traditional practices was in violation of the UN Charter, which prescribes interference in the domestic affairs of Member States; others felt that traditional practices that compromise the health and well—being of women and girls should be abolished.
When the World Health Organization teFused to undertake a study on the effects of genital circumcision for the Commission on the Status of Women, the question of the adverse effects of traditional practices on the well—being of women and girls was abandoned for approximately twenty years and did not become a Focus of international attention again until the UN's International Women’s Year in 1975.9 In 1979 the World Health Organization sponsored a seminar on Traditional Practices Affecting the Health Of Women and Children, but strong efforts to eradicate such practices did not begin to gain momentum until the mid-19805 when a growing number of individuals and organizations, both within and outside of the human rights community, began to Consider female genital circumcision a form of gendet—based violence. Such practices, a growing number of voices began to insist, could no longer be
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[Page 37]
justified in the name of the sanctity of culrute, religion, or tradition.
Economic and Social Camequence: of Gma'er Inequality. During the 19605 and 19705, as former African colonies began to seize their independence, the number and diversity of Member States at the United Nations grew dramatically. In addition, the economic and social consequences of centuries of oppression and iniustice had crippled the human and material resources of many colonized nations and had begun to present acute threats to the lives of millions of peopleparticularly of women and girls—thtoughout the developing world. For this reason the survival-related concerns of women in developing countries began to eclipse the UN’s earlier focus on securing women’s legal rights.
Concurrently, the economic and healthrelated problems associated with the emergence of fledgling nations from colonial rule sewed to awaken the Commission on the Status of Women to the disproportionate impact of poverty and inequality on the lives of women and girls:
“The work of the Commission on the
Status of Women in the 19605 and 19705
thus began to take it beyond the negoti ating tables in New York and Geneva and into the fields and rice paddies of the developing world. Such issues as women’s needs in community and rural development, agricultural work, family planning and the impact of scientific and technological advances on Women became increasingly prominent in the Commission’s work. This was the first step in a growing perception among United Nations bodies concerned with development, that the Charter’s promise to ‘promote social
10‘ United Nations. United Nation! and the Ad wzm'emmt of Women 27. _ , , lli Paraphrased in United Nations, Unztszamm
and 2/7: Advancement of Wm": 34.
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ERADICATING GENDER—BASED VIOLENCE 37
progress and better the standards of life in larger freedom’ could not be met without the full participation of women in society."‘° Realizing the grass—roots needs of so many of the world’s women, the Economic and Social Council, along with the General Assembly, called upon governments to turn to the United Nations for technical assistance in their development effortsi In addition, organizations within the UN system—such as the United Nations Children’s Fund and the United Nations Development Programme—were asked to give special attention to the social and economic advancement ofwomen in the developing countries.
Intmfiomlem’sYear, 1975. In an effort [0 highlight women’s vital r015 in national and international development, and with a view to promoting the equality of men and women in the international arena, the Commission on the Status of Women recommended that 1975 be designated International Women’s Year. The General Assembly not only endorsed this recommendation but suggested that, in addition to the themes of development and equality, International Women’s Year be used to heighten awareness of the importance of women in promoting world peace.
The Fim Global Confirente On Womeni'lxmex. Perhaps the most significant event of International Women’s Year was the first global conference on women’s issues ever to be held. The conference took place in June 1975 in Mexico City. Delegations, 113 of them headed by women, from more than 133 Member States were present. According to a history of the advancement of women, the UN’s Secretary-Genetal, in his opening remarks to the assembled delegates, observed that the conference in Mexico City was “the first major step in a worldwide attempt to achieve equality between men and women and to end separation of the sexes in matters of education, opportunities and economic priorities.”“
38 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
At the close of the conference the delegates adopted the Declaration of Mexico on the Equality of Women and Their Contribution to Development and Peace. The Declaration specified a set of principles that stress the role of women in promoting and maintaining peace in all spheres of life, including the family, the community, the nation, and the international arena.
The World Plan of Action for the Implementation of the Objectives of the International Women’s Year was also drafted at the Mexico City conference. This document specified three main objectives: to promote gender equality; to facilitate the integration of women in all development efforts; and to strengthen the contribution of women to the global movement for world peace. Although the Plan left it to each country to specify the means whereby these objectives were to be met, it also outlined minimum goals to be achieved by 1980, the mid—point of the Decade for Women, which would begin in 1976. These goals included combating problems affecting female migrant workers, female prisoners, and women and girls forced into prostitution; achieving equality of access to education for women at all levels of school< ing; increasing employment opportunities for women throughout the world; passing laws to ensure greater participation by women in politics and governance; and making significant improvements in women’s access to adequate nutrition, housing, health care and family planning.
The UNDemdefbr W/omm, 1976—85. The United Nations declared the period between 1976 and 1985 the UN Decade for Women. During this period the women’s international human—rights movement te—emetged as a
12. United Nations, Convention on tb: Eliminatian of All Form; of Discrimination again“ Wamm. Preamble.
major concern and began to gather renewed support and unprecedented momentum. The adoption in 1979 of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women, together with international women’s conferences in Copenhagen, Denmark, in 1980 and in Nairobi, Kenya, in 1985, not only brought women’s issues to the fore but began to strengthen the effectiveness of nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) that were moving to the forefront in the effort to promote the advancement ofwomen. Such organizations began to link violence and discrimination against women to a variety of national and international crises, including war, homelessness, illiteracy, poverty, malnutrition, overpopulation, poor health, and high rates of infant mortality. As a result of their growing strength and effectiveness, NGOs began to transform the United Nations into a world body that is not only responsive to the needs and wishes of governments but that is also receptive to policy recommendations and guidance from the grass roots.
The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms ofDixm'mination against Wzmm. The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women, an important action taken during the UN Decade for Women, was adopted by the United Nations General Assembly on 18 December 1979 and entered into force as an international treaty on 3 September 1981. Since its adoption, more than 150 nations have agreed to be bound by its provisions.
The spirit and objectives of the Convention are animated by the same vision and goals that gave birth to the United Nations: “to reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person, in the equal rights of men and women.” As an international treaty, the Convention accomplishes two major objectives. First, it establishes an international bill of rights for women and specifies a set of
A
actions to be taken by the nations of the world to ensure that these rights are enjoyed. Second, it mandates the establishment of the Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW), which is charged with ensuring that the provisions of the Convention are observed.
The notion of gender equality as defined in the Convention is not theoretical but practical. Its goal, as specified in Article 1 and elaborated in Articles 2 through 30, is to effect equality rather than provide an abstract definition of it. The Convention seeks to establish gender equality by prohibiting all forms of discrimination against women and by defining discrimination as “any distinction, exclusion or restriction made on the basis of sex which has the efieet or purpose of impairing or nullifying the recognition, enjoyment or exercise by women, irrespective of their marital status, on a basis of equality of men and women, of human rights and fimdamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural, civilor anyother field.”13
Articles 2 through 30 of the Convention require signatories both to condemn all forms of discrimination against women and to “pursue by all appropriate means and without delay” such policies as would result in the elimination of existing discriminatory practices.“ Steps to be taken to fulfill the Convention include: embodying the principle of equality of men and women in all national constitutions or other appropriate legislation; adopting legislative measures that prohibit
13‘ United Nations. Canueminn on the Elimination If All Forms af Dixcriminnn‘on against Women, Part I,
Art. 1t 14. United Nations, Conventian :m the Elimination
af All Farms af Discrimination agaim: Women, Part I,
Art. 2‘ 15, United Nations, Curtutnriarl On the Elimination
nf All Form; of Discriminalian agdimr Winn, Part I, Art. 4.
ERADiCA'l‘ING GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE 39
and sanction all discrimination against women; establishing legal protection of the rights of women on an equal basis with men; actively involving signatories in the elimination of discrimination against women by any person, organization, or enterprise; modifying or abolishing existing laws, regulations, eustoms, and practices that constitute discrimination against women; and repealing all national penal provisions that constitute discrimination against women.
Articles of the Convention also require States Parties to take appropriate measures to ensure the full development and advancement of women in all fields of endeavor; to modify those social and cultural practices that are based on the idea of the inferiority or superiority of either of the sexes or that promote stereotyped roles for women or men; and to adopt special measures aimed at protecting maternity, specifying that such measures ushall not be considered discriminatory.”IS The Convention proscribes all forms of prostitution, sexual exploitation, and trafficking in women and seeks to ensure that women enjoy equal rights with men in the exercise of political freedom and the freedom to participate in all forms of public life.
States Parties are urged in the Convention to grant women equal rights With men to acquire, Change, or retain their nationality upon marriage or divorce. The Convention grants women equal rights with men to establish the nationality of their children. The rights of women to enjoy equal access to education and employment are affirmed, while all discriminatory practices in the field of health care are abrogated, including discriminatory access to health—care services and family planning. Particular problems faced by rural women are addressed, and signatories are mandated to ensure that rural women participate fully in, and benefit from, all development. Several Articles of the Convention require States Parties to accord women full equality with men before the law and
40 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
establish that women and men shall enjoy the same rights within marriage and family life. Part 5 of the Convention, which includes Articles 17 through 30, is concerned with establishing mechanisms through which the provisions of the Convention are to be adopted, monitored, and enforced.
The Copenhagen Canference, 1980. The adoption of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women was a major action during the UN Decade for Women. But at the Copenhagen Conference, which took place in 1980 at the mid-point of the United Nations Decade for Women, it became clear to the delegates that the goals articulated in Mexico City could never be achieved by laws alone. Many recognized that, without a sustained measure of grass-roots social action and without a high level of political commitment, the goals were just that—goals. Following Copenhagen, at least some of the focus of the movement for the advancement of women began to be concentrated on mobilizing more effectively at the grass roots. In addition to concentrating on grass-roots efforts, one of the most important developments of the Copenhagen Conference would be little noticed: Some of the delegates began to discuss the lack of involvement of men in improving the status and role of women in society.
The Nairobi Confirmte‘, 1985, and GenderBased Violence. The third global conference on women was held in 1985 in Nairobi at the end of the UN Decade for Women. At that conference, and at the preparatory conference that took place in Vienna the preceding year, delegates agreed that the goals for the
16‘ United Nations, 77}! Nairobi Faru/ard—Laaking Strattgiex fizr the Advancement of Women, adopted by the World Conference to Review and Appraise the Achievemens of the United Nations Decade for Women: Equality, Development and Peace, Nairobi, Kenya, 15—26 July, 1985, par. 258.
second half of the Decade for Women had not been achieved. However, the experience gained in international consultation at the two previous conferences generated a spirit of confidence and optimism that united the hearts of the delegates in ways that the previous conferences had failed to do. When they left Nairobi, many did so with a profound sense of sisterhood and solidarity that cut across traditional lines of race, class, and culture.
The second major accomplishment of the Nairobi Conference was the clear emergence of a consensus among the delegates that gender—based violence would have to be addressed as a human-rights issue in the international legal and political arenas. The major document coming out of that Conference—the Nairobi Forward-Looking Strategies for the Advancement of Women‘noted that
Violence against women exists in various forms in everyday life in all societies. Women are beaten, mutilated, burned, sexually abused and raped. Such violence is a major obstacle to the achievement of peace and the other objectives of the Decade and should be given special attention. Women victims of violence should be given particular attention and comprehensive assistance To this end, legal measures should be formulated to prevent violence and to assist women viCtims. National machineries should be established in order to deal with the question of violence against women within the family and society. Preventive policies should be elaborated, and institutionalized forms of assistance to women provided.16
Addrem'ng Gender—Baxea’ Violence. The call raised at the Nairobi conference for addressing gender—based violence began to beat fruit. In May 1990, the UN’s Economic and Social Council recognized that gender-based violence in the family and society “is pervasive and cuts across lines of income, class and
4A
ERADICATING GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE 41
Selected Milestones in the Efiorts Since 1945 to Eliminate Gendet—Based Violence
1945 United Nations established
1946 UN Commission on Human Rights formed
1946 UN Commission on the Status of Women established
1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights adopted
1952/54‘ Convention on the Political Rights of Women adopted and entered into force
1957/58‘ Convention on the Nationality of Married Women adopted and entered into force
1962/64‘ Convention and Recommendation on Consent to Marriage, Minimum Age for Marriage and Registration of Matriages adopted and entered into force
1967 Declaration on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women
1975 UN International Women's Yea!
1975 World Conference of the International Women's Year, Mexico City
1975 Declaration of Mexico on the Equality of Women and Their Contribution to Development and Peace
1975 World Plan of Action for the Implementation of the Obiectives of the International Women's Yea:
1976785 Decade for Women
1979/81‘ Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women adopted and entered into force
1979 Committee On the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) mandated
1980 World Cunference of the United Nations Decade for Women, Copenhagen, Denmark (mid—point of Decade for Women)
1985 World Conference (0 Review and Appraise (he Achievements of the United Nations Decade for Women: Equaiity, Development and Peace, Nairobi, Kenya (end of Decade for Women)
1985 The Nairobi Forward-Looking Strategies for the Advancement of Women adopted
1993 UN Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women adopted
1993 World Conference on Human Rights. Vienna, Austria
1993 Vienna Declaration and Programme of Action adopted
1994 UN International Year of the Family
1994 UN Special Rapporteur on Violence Against Women appointed
1995 Fourth World Conference on Women, Beijing, China
1995 The Beijing Declaration and The Platform for Actlon adopted
‘Indicatcs the year adopted and the year entered into force.
culture." “Efforts to eradicate it,” the Council noted, “must be matched by urgent and effective steps. . . .” The Council called upon governments to take immediate and decisive steps to establish appropriate penalties for violence against women, as well as to reduce its impact in the family, the workplace, and society.17
In 1992 the Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women
17. United Nations Economic and Social Council, Annex [0 Resolution 1990/15 of 24 May, 1990. Recommendation XXIL
(CEDAW) moved to rectify the omission in 1979 of gender—based violence from the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women. At its eleventh session, CEDAW resolved to include gender—based violence under the rubric of gendet—based discrimination. Gender—based violence, according to CEDAW, is “violence which is directed against a woman because she is a woman or which affects women disproportionately. It includes acts which inflict physical, mental or sexual harm or suffering, threats of such acts, coercion, and other deprivation of liberty.” CEDAW went further to request that States Parties undertake appropriate and effective measures to end all
42 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
forms of gender—based violence, whether such violence be by public or private act.‘a Joining the voices raised against genderbased violence is the Vienna Declaration and Programme ofAction, adopted by the World Conference on Human Rights, held in Vienna, Austria, in June 1993. Part1, paragraph 18, of that document, addresses violence against women: The human rights of women and of the girl—child are an inalienable, integral and indivisible part of universal human rights. The full and equal participation of women in political, civil, economic, social and cultural life, at the national, regional and international levels, and the eradication of all forms of discrimination on grounds of sex are priority objectives of the international community. Gender based violence and all forms of sexual harassment and exploitation, including those resulting from cultural prejudice and international trafficking, are incompatible with the dignity and worth of the human person, and must be eliminated.19 Part 11, paragraph 38, continues:
The World Conference on Human Rights stresses the importance of working towards the elimination of violence against women in public and private life, the elimination of all forms of sexual harassment, exploitation and trafficking in women, the elimination of gender bias in the administration of j ustice and the eradiCation of any conflicts which may arise between the rights of women and the harmful effects of certain traditional or
18. CEDAW General Recommendation 1‘), entitled “Violence against Women," 1992.
19. United Nations, The Vinma Dalmatian and Programme afAm'mt June 1993, Part I, Par. 18.
20. United Nations, Vienna Dtrlaratian and Programme qurtian June 1993, Part II, Par. 38‘
21. United Nations, Declaration 1m til: Elimination usiolenc: agaimt Wamm. December 1993, Preamble.
- fi
customary practices, cultural prejudices and
religious extremism.20
In 1993 the UN Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women—adopted by the General Assembly at its forty—eighth session on 20 December 1993—became the first international human—rights instrument designed exclusively to deal with violence against women.
Although not legally binding, the Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women (hereafter referred to as the Declaration) provides the first set of international standards to address the problem of violence against women and girls. The Preamble to the Declaration affirms that the root cause of gendet-based violence is the “historically unequal power relations between men and women, which have led to domination over and discrimination against women by men and to the prevention of the full advancement of women. .” In affirming that “violence against women is one of the crucial social mechanisms by which women are forced into a subordinate position compared with men,” the Preamble recognizes that violence is both a result and cause of gendet—telated inequities.“
Like the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women, the notion of equality embodied in the Declaration is free of theoretical speculation. It seeks to ensure that women are allowed and enabled to enjoy the most fundamental of all human rights—namely, the right to physical and psychological integrity and safety. Specifically, the Declaration defines violence against women as physical and sexual violence that takes place within the family (and that consists of battering, sexual abuse of female children, dowty-telated violence, marital rape, female genital circumcision, and other traditional practices that have proven to be harmful to women; nonspousal violence; and violence that attends various forms of female exploitation); violence against
____AP__
women in the community (which consists of rape, sexual abuse, harassment, and intimidation in the workplace and educational institutions, trafficking in women, and forced prostitution); and violence against women that is either perpetrated or condoned by the State.
Among the most significant contributions to gendet equality embodied in the Declaration are the obligations imposed upon the State both to “condemn” gender-based violence and to pursue all “appropriate means" and “without delay" to ensure the elimination of violence directed against women within their national borders. Commenting on State responsibility in this regard, the UN’s Special Rapporteur on Violence against Women observed:
The problem of violence against women brings into sharp focus an issue that has been troubling the international community—State responsibility for the actions of private citizens In the past, a strict judicial interpretation had made the State responsible only For actions for which it or its agents are directly accountable. In this Case itwould relate to issues such as women in custody and women in detention and perhaps the problem of women during armed conflict. The question of domestic violence, rape and sexual harassment, etc., were seen as the actions of individuals and thus beyond the uhuman rights" responsibility of the State.22
By specifying a proactive role for the State in all situations in which women are more likely than men to be victims of violence, the Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women makes it possible to concep 22. Radhika Coomamswamy, PreliminaryRepm-tSubmined by 2/19 SperialRapportmr an Vivien“ agaimt “70mm, [Lt Came: and Comrquences, U.N. Duct E/CN. 4/1995/ 4 2 ( 1 994) t
ERADICATING GENDER—BASED VIOLENCE 43
tualize even private acts of violence against women (for example, domestic violence) as violations of women’s human tights. Inasmuch as the equal protection of all citizens from violence on account of race, class, religion, or sex is fundamental to any functional and operational definition of equality, the Declaration provides a major advance in establishing the equality of women and men worldwide.
The four actions taken between May 1990 and December 1993—the actions of the UN’s Economic and Social Council in 1990 and CEDAW in 1991, the Vienna Declaration in June 1993, and the UN Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women in December 1993—‘Wel‘6 the first concrete signs of the international community’s moral and legal commitment to eradicating this global, age—old problem. They are among the most significant developments in human-tights law in the twentieth century and ate the first to challenge the legal and moral foundations on which misplaced justifications for allowing gendet-based violence to continue are based.
1994, An Important Turning Point. In its resolution 44/82, the UN’s General Assembly designated 1994 the International Year of the Family. This act catalyzed a number of processes that resulted in clarifying the steps necessary to protect and promote the advancement of women and girls. At its thirteenth session, for example, the Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women chose to mark the International Year of the Family by analyzing three articles in the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women that have special significance for the status of women in the family: Articles 9, 15, and 16.
Article 9(1) of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women disallows nationality laws that discriminate against women by limiting their nationality rights in situations in which men’s rights are not so limited. In some countries,
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[Page 44]
44 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
for example, women are unable to confer on foreign husbands such rights as may be conferred by men on their foreign wives (such as the right of residency or the right to become a citizen after a brief residency period). Furthermore, inasmuch as Article 9(2) provides women and men with equal rights with respect to the nationality of children, women Who are now prevented from doing so may soon be able to pass citizenship on to their offspring. (At present the constitutions of several nations provide that children born outside of the country may become citizens only if their father is a citizen.) Commenting on the significance of Article 9, Marsha Freeman, the director of International Women's Rights Watch, observed: Nationality is fundamentally related to women’s exercise of personal liberty and freedom of movement. If a woman’s nationality or that of her children is dependent upon her husband’s nationality, her ability to make adult decisions as to residence, travel, her children's welfare, or even marriage is severely limited.23 Article 15 of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women provides for the equality of women before the law. The right of women to attain the age of majority (or legal age) at the same age as is applied to men; the right of women to undertake contractual obligations and to sell, buy, and administer property; the right of women to inherit and administer estates; the right of women to appear before the court on their own behalf and to have their testimony given weight equal to that of men; and the right of women to choose freely where they will live or travel without male consent are all provided for under Article 15.
23. Marsha A. Freeman, Human Right: in the Family. 1mm and Recommendations fir Implementation (1nternational Women’s Rights Acrion Watch: Apr. 1993) 10.
Article 16 covers marriage and family law and is designed to promote equality within the family and to protect women From the discriminatory effects of customary laws, traditions, and religious practices that usurp the rights of women and/or girls to choose their own spouse and to give their consent to marriage. Article 16 also provides that during marriage men and women should be equally responsible for household and family responsibilities, should have equal rights [0 family decision-making, should be equally responsible for children, and have equal power in discharging familial authority;
1995, An Apogee: The Faurth World Conflrem‘e an Women and The Global Platfizrm fnrAttian IN September 1995, during the fiftieth anniversary year of the United Nations, the Fourth World Conference on Women was held in Beijing, China, with delegations from 189 countries‘ This gathering represented the largest United Nations Conference ever held. The Platform for Action and the Beijing Declaration emerging from the Conference were adopted unanimously and are among the most comprehensive human—rights documents ever articulated on behalf of the world’s women. The Platform for Action seeks to uphold the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (1979) and to build on the Nairobi ForwardLooking Strategies for the Advancement of Women (1985). While the Platform for Action’s overall objective—empcweting all women—conforms to the purposes and principles of the Charter of the United Nations, its immediate aim was to establish a basic group of priority actions to be carried out during the five—year period between 1995 and the turn of the century. The Platform for Action contained twelve areas of critical concern that were to receive specialattention: 1. The persistent and increasing burden of poverty on women;
.
2. Inequalities and inadequacies in and unequal access to education and training;
3. Inequalities and inadequacies in and unequal access to health care and related services;
4. Violence against women;
5. The eEects of armed and other kinds of conflict on women, including those living under foreign occupation;
6. Inequality in economic structures and policies, in all forms of productive activities and in access to resources;
7. Inequality between men and women in the sharing of power and decision making at all levels;
8. Insulhcient mechanisms at all levels to promote the advancement of women;
9. Lack of respect for and inadequate promotion and protection of the human rights of women;
10. Stereotyping of women and inequality in women’s access to and participation in all communication systems, especially in the media;
11. Gender inequalities in the management of natural resources and in the safeguarding of the environment;
12. Persistent discrimination against and violation of the rights of the girl child.“
In its effort to contribute in new ways to
the eradication of all forms of inequality and abuse, the Platform for Action outlines specific actions to be taken by governments to address each of the problem areas outlined above. In its comprehensiveness it has left almost no institution of civil society untouched. Included in the Platform ate actions prescribed for national and local governments, community organizations. nongovernmental organi 24. United Nations, Plagfbrm fir Action and tire BeijinthtlamIion (New York: United Nations DePartment of Public Information, 1996) 76—82.
ERADICATING GENDER—BASED VIOLENCE 45
zations, educational institutions, the public and private sectors, and the mass media as directed by the State. Thus the Platform for Action is one of the most comprehensive documents ever articulated in the interest of promoting and protecting the human tights of women and girls.
The Secretary—General of the United Nations has committed himself to the tasks that he has been called upon to carry out in the Platform for Action. In addition, measures have been undertaken to improve the status of women within the United Nations itself. For example, the percentages of women in professional and decision-making positions at the UN have increased and are expected to continue to increase. These changes not only facilitate the realization of the important goals outlined in the Platform for Action but also serve as even greater evidence of the UN’s commitment to the advancement of women in all fields of human endeavor. Beyond these steps, the United Nations has, since the Beijing Conference, sought to forge even stronger bonds with nongovernmental organizations at the gtass—roots levels and has begun to work to encourage a wider spectrum of civil society to contribute to the advancement of women and girls and their protection from human-tights abuses.
Where Do We Go fiam Here? DESPITE the progress made during the last half century, and notwithstanding the detailed and much-needed prescriptions for change addressed to governments and institutions of civil society, violence against women and girls continues to be a public—health scourge of global proportions. According to the UN’s Special Rapporteur on Violence against Women, appointed in 1994 just before the Beijing Conference, violence against human beings, and particularly against women and girls, continues to be a major factor hindering the realization of human rights goals:
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46 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
War, repression, and the brutalization of public and private life have destroyed the possibility of human rights being enjoyed as a universal phenomenon. Violence against women, in particular, has inhibited women as a group from enjoying the full benefits of human rights. Women have been vulnerable to acts of violence in the family, in the community and by States. The recorded incidents of such violence have reached such unprecedented proportions that they have shocked the conscience of the world.25
As is clear from the review of significant milestones over the course of the last halfcentury, international discourse and actions aimed at uprooting the essential causes of gendet—based violence and discrimination have tended to be centered on international law and human rights and on the transformation of institutions. The underlying assumption appears to be that, when the national and international legal instruments necessary for securing gender equality and for protecting women’s rights have been fashioned and applied, gendet—based discrimination and abuse will find an inhospitable environment and will gradually disappear.
As vital as legal and human—rights measures are, they are insufficient to effect the total change necessary. Laws alone cannot effect eradication of the various forms of violence perpetrated against women and girls in the privacy of the home and under the eye of the State, For as long as human beings, collectively and individually, fail to understand the essential roots of violence, as long as they remain morally, spiritually, and psy 25. Coomataswamy, Preliminary Report.
26‘ Amede Obiota, "Kindling the Domain of Social Reform through Law," Third Warla’ Legal Studiex (1994-95): 106.
chologically underdeveloped, they will tend to allow the perpetration of violence-related cultural “norms,” regardless of the rule of law. Unless cultural norms and outwom modes of thinking are addressed, legal and humanrights measures, however vital they may be, will prove to be insufficient. A global campaign to elevate the status of women, to promote gender equality, and to eradicate gender-based violence must be fueled and upheld not only by enforceable local and international laws but also by educational processes that address the inner terrain of human consciousness, human values, and human spiritual and moral development.
Moreover, even in countries that uphold the rule of law, as legal theorist and researcher Amede Obiora suggests, the impact of the broad legal culture on the persistence of gender—based discrimination and violence cannot be overlooked. The term “legal culture” has been described as “the network of values and attitudes which determine why, when, where and how people employ legal structures and why legal rules work or do not work." It is, according to Obiora, “the legal culture that provides the impetus for the use, abuse, or avoidance of the law.”26 If the legal culture of a nation is not oriented toward the advancement and protection of women, a proliferation of laws, however much needed, will not remedy gender—based violence and discrimination.
There are at least two dimensions to a legal culture—the outer form, or legal structure of a community, and the inner form, or the philosophical principles that animate that structure. The outer aspect of a legal culture is utilitarian and has to do with mechanisms designed to facilitate applying a community’s constitution and/or body of laws. The inner aspect is abstract and has to do with metaphysical principles that the laws of a community are designed to embody, protect, and advance. Thus, more than the facilitation of order and social processes, the desire to pro 7 _i L
[Page 47]
mote such metaphysical values as justice,
equality, human nobility, and truth are the
implicit or explicit goals that buttress most
nontotalitarian legal systems.
A people‘s awareness of and appreciation for the underlying metaphysical values that serve as the foundation of law give a legal culture its enduring strength and render a legal system more than “a mere code of laws."27 In the absence of a concern For the metaphysical values, laws are powerless to protect against human and civil-rights abuses. Harold Berman, one of the world's foremost authorities on the philosophy of law, notes that, in the final analysis, what empowers law is the “deeply or passionately held conviction that law is not only an instrument of secular policy but also part of the ultimate purpose of life?” Thus, underlying the failure of nations, communities, and families to protect and advance the rights of women and girls and [0 protect them against gcnder-based violence are not only legal and human—rights standards that leave women vulnerable but also maladaptive values and attitudes that require attention. Hence the much—neglected body of world literature concerned with moral refinement and self—mastery deserves renewed consideration.
27, Bahá’u’lláh, The Kitáb-i-Aqdas: The Most Hn/y 800/1, ps ed. (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1993) K14.
28. Harold Betman, Faith and 0rd”: Tb: Reconciliation of 1110 nnthligion (Atlanta. GA: Scholars Press, 1993) 7.
29, Mi R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen. Irbm d'W/arldl’eact: EXP/analiom of a Sufi (Philadelphia. PA: The FellowShip Press. 1987) 44.
30, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Selenium fiam the Writings af )‘ibdu 'I—Balm‘, compi Research Department of the Universal House of Justice, trans. Committee at the Bahá’í World Cenue and Marzich Gail (Haifa: Bahá’í World Centre, 1997) 256i
ERAIMCATING GENDER—BASED VIOLENCE 47
Self—Mastery As HAS BEEN noted throughout the ages, no effort to eradicate Violence and abuse within a society can be successful without giving due consideration to the challenges of moral growth and self—mastery. Notwithstanding the violence and abuse carried out in the names of the world’s spiritual traditions, most of these have linked the preservation of human rights, honor, and dignity to the control and/ or proper expression of aggression and desire. Islam, for example, encourages the followers of Muhammad to engage in jihad, or “holy war." While jihad is frequently and incorrectly invoked to justify acts of terrorism and violence, the jihad spoken of in the Koran is concerned principally with the holy war to conquer one’s self. One who engages in jihad seeks to achieve a state of inner purity and self—conttol. Commenting on this fact, the Islamic Sufi mystic Bawa Muhaiyaddeen observed: “For man to raise his sword against man, for man to kill man, is not holy war. True holy war is to praise God and to cut away the enemies of truth within our own hearts. We must cast out all that is evil within us, all that opposes God. This is the war we must fight.”29 The Bahá’í scriptures also explain that the Cause of God belongeth not to the material world. It cometh neither for strife not war, not for acts of mischief or of shame; it is neither for quarrelling with other Faiths, nor for conflicts with the nations. Its only army is the love of God, . . . its only battle the expounding of the Truth; its one crusade is against the insistent self, the evil promptings Of the human heart.30 Similar guidance on conquering the self may be found in Judaism, Hinduism, Christianity, African spiritual beliefs, the Zoroastrian Faith, Buddhism, and so on.
Self-Mastery: Continuous Process. Although self-mastery need bear no relationship to the self—denying, self—righteous, or puritanical spirit that often masquerades in its name, it
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48 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
does require that constant attention be given to developing those human qualities that may come forth through training and significant effort. For example, inasmuch as compassion is an antidote to exploitation and abuse, many spiritual traditions of the world continually exhort their followers to cultivate it. Expressing the sublime longing Of the soul for the quality of compassion, the Buddhist poetsaint Shantideva pleads:
Me} I he a halm t0 the sick, their healer and
- eri/itor until tit/men tome never again;
May] quench with rain: affiwd and drink
the anguixh af hunger and thirst;
May I he in the famine Of the age} end their
drink and meat;
May I become an unfiiling xtoreflw the pour,
andserz/e them with manz’fald thingxfir their
need.
[My own being and my pleasures, all my
righteoumm in thepmt, present andflmre,
I surrender indzfli’rently,
That all creatures may win their way to their
end.“
Self—Maxte’y and Self Tmntcena’ent Values. At the core of a spiritual perspective is not ideology but a heartfelt sense of self—transcendent values and an acute awareness of what is sacred in life. More than anything else, it is the longing to protect and cultivate that which is sacred—both within oneself and within others-that induces the desire for self—mastery. When this desire is awakened, individual behavior is conditioned, not
31. Shantideva, quoted in Huston Smith, The Reliv giant iszan (New York: Harper Cullins, 1991) 123,
32. Albert Lincoln, Statement to the Millennium World Peace Summit, Hall of the United Nations General Assembly, New York, 2000‘
33. Shoghi Effendi, The Unfila’ing Destiny af the Britiih Bahd 7 Community: The Metsagesfmm the Guardian Of the Bahá’u’lláh t0 the 34/74 '15 of the Britith Isle: (London: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1981) 28.
so much by ideology, the force of law, or the threat of punishment as by a deep appreciation of the beauty inherent in what the Buddha referred to as right anion.
Addressing the Millennium Peace Summit of Religious and Spiritual Leaders, held at the United Nations on 28—31 August, 2000, Albert Lincoln, the Sectetary—General of the Bahá’í International Community, put a turnof-the—century face on the results of traditional education and appealed to the assembled delegates, on behalf of the world’s children, for moral and spiritual education:
Looking beyond immediate crises and
conflicts, one of the greatest dangers fac ing mankind comes from a generation of children growing up in a moral vacuum.
Our hearts go out to the child—soldiers of
Africa, the child-prostitutes of Asia and
the desperate scavengers of the world’s
countless slums and refugee camps, victims of poverty which is both spiritual and material. But we must not forget the millions of young people growing up in societies whose traditional value systems lie in ruins, or those deprived of spiritual training by generations of dogmatically materialistic education. And lest we oversimplify the causes or the remedies, let us also call to mind the young products of permissive liberalism in the West, some of whom are as weU—axmed and violence-ptone as their age-mates in less prosperous lands.
Each child is potentially the light of the
wotld, and its darkness. Lighting the lamps
of these souls is a responsibility we must collectively assume if civilization is to thrive.
Children must not be deprived of the light
of moral education, especially the girl child,
who is the transmitter of values to future generations. Indeed, educated women are the most important keys to world peace.32
Developing the Inner Life andPriz/ate Charzzeter. Developing the “inner life and private character” has long been understood as critical to the civilizing process.33 In The
Niwmachean Ethir: Aristotle avers: “the end of political science is the supreme good; and political science is concerned with nothing so much as with producing a certain character in the citizens or in other words with making them good, and capable of performing noble actions.”"‘ Such notions are not limited to the Western liberal tradition In the East the Buddha promoted a system of moral education based upon the “eightfold path." His teachings affirm that. until right knowledge, right aspiration, right speech, right behavior, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right absorption characterize the inner and outer life, neither the person not the society can be well-ordered. In the Great Learning, a book written by the Chinese sage Confucius, the preservation and the development of the empire are both linked to the moral refinement and development of the individual: The ancients who wished to illustrate illustrious virtue throughout the empire. first ordered well their own States. \X/ishing to order well their States, they first regulated their families. Wishing to regulate their families, they first cultivated their personsi Wishing to cultivate their persons, they first rectified their hearts Wishing to rectify their hearts, they first sought to be sincere in their thoughts. Wishing to be sincere in their thoughts, they first extended to the utmost their knowledge.
34, Aristotle, The Nimmm‘lmm Ethirx, trans, ]. E. C. Welldon (Amherst, NY: Prometheus Books, 1987) 30.
35‘ Confucius, “The Great Learning,” in The Fuur 300/25: Tl]: Chincsz-EngliS/v Bilingual Strict Of China: CldJJifS, trans. by publisher (Nan Lu, China: Hunan Publishing House, 1992) 3.
36iSee Solomon Shimmel, The Swen Deadly Sim: Irwixh, Christian, and Classial/ Reflection: on Human l’m‘hology (New York: Oxford UP, 1997),
37. Roy Baumeister, Euz’l: Insid! Human Violence and Cruelty (New York: Freeman. 1997) 145.
-_’—‘
Hm [ >1(,I/\ i'lNG G ENDER—BASED VIOLENCE 49
Such extension of knowledge lay in the
investigation of things.35 Likewise, Christianity, a moral and spiritual philosophy that embraces the globe, teaches that “man cannot live by bread alone” and that the refinement of human character is indispensable to the life and health of a community We find similar assertions in all the world‘s major faiths. There is thus some transcultural basis for giving consideration to the moral and spiritual dimensions of human rights abuses.
AudflziungIrrier; to Self—Mastery. Solomon Shim mel, Professor of Jewish education and psychology at Hebrew College, recently completed a book on the relevance of the “seven deadly sins" (pride, envy, anger, lust, gluttony. greed. and sloth), written about since antiquity, to many of the problems that confront individuals, families, and communities around the world. A number of the sins have a special relevance to the epidemiology of physical and sexual Violence directed against women and girls?"
Pride and Egotz'sm. Pride and egotism, the tendency to exaggerate one’s worth and power, to consider oneself superior to others, and to carry oneself arrogantly above others is often seen as a root cause of cruelty, aggression, and violence, In point of fact, contrary to the previously held belief that violent individuals tend to suffer from low selflesteem, a growing body of literature now suggests that those who are most prone to violence are those with an exaggerated sense of self—importance. In his recent book, Evil: Inside Human Violence 11nd Cruelty, Roy Baumeister devotes an entire chapter to establishing this point. His conclusion, based on a review of a wide range of studies from diverse fields, is simple: “The most potent recipe for violence is a favorable view of oneself that is disputed or undermined by someone else—in short, threatened egotism.”37
Baumeister cites a growing body of literature On 5mm inmmixtemy as a predictor of
SO WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
family violence. Status inconsistency exists when there are contradictions among various signs of a mans status. For example, a man’s holding a doctoral degree but driving a taxi is a case of status inconsistency. A number of studies have shown that status inconsistency is commonly associated with a violent, abusive husband. Research shows, for example, that, because housewives are less likely to threaten their husband’s status than working women, housewives are less likely to be vicrims of violence than working women. Other studies demonstrate that men who have earned high qualifications but who have poor careers are particularly violent as a group. They are, in fact, six times more likely than average to perpetrate severe violence against their wives. However, those men who have poor qualifications but have unusually successful careers are found to be six times less likely than average to beat their wives severely. “The status inconsistency is the same in both cases,” notes Baumeister, “yet the effects on violence are opposite. How can this apparent paradox be resolved,” he asks: threatened egotism provides the key. The men who had impressive qualifications probably thought they deserved to be successful, and when life failed to confirm these expectations, they tended to turn violent and take it our on their wives. In
38. Baumeister, Evil [45.
39. Quoted in The Council of Global Education, Qualitie: of Grmmm: Selenium from the World} erigiant (Washington, DC: The Council of Global Education, 1997) 26,
40. Quoted in The Council of Global Education. Qualities Of Greatnm 26.
4]. Quoted in The Council of Global Education, Qualities of Grmmm 26.
42. Quoted in The Council of Global Education, Qualities of Greatnm 26 See also Bahá’u’lláh. Epixrlt t0 the San Of the Wolf trans‘ Shoghi Effendi, ls: ps ed. (\Vilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1988) 30.
43. Richard Wilhelm, Ltuum on the I Ching: Can:tamy and Change, trans, Irene Iber (Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP, 1979) 18.
contrast, men who had poor credentials most likely had much lower expectations. When their career success surpassed those expectations, they may have noticed the inconsistency, but their egos were not threatened. Thus the violent husband is the man who thinks his daily life is not conforming to his exalted opinion ofhimsell".38
Realizing the dangers inherent in egotism and excessive pride, the world’s religions have sought to cultivate humility. The sacred writings of the Zoroastrian faith affirm: “But if he justly estimates his own merit, or if he rates it lower than the truth, then I Ahuramazda, the Creator, will make his soul see the joy of Paradise, boundless light, unearned felicity, and eternal happiness. . . 7’” In the Hindu scripture: “There is the ‘rightful’ doer. He who acts free from self—seeking, humble. resolute, steadfast, in good or evil hap the same, content to do aright—he ‘truly acts.“D From Islam: “And remember We said: (Enter this town, and eat of the plenty therein as ye wish; but enter the gate with humility, in posture and in words, and We shall forgive your faults and increase (the portion of) those who do good)”1 And from the Bahá’í writings: “Humility exalteth man to the heaven of glory and power, whilst pride abaseth him to the depths of wretchedness and degradation.”“
Perhaps the emphasis so strongly placed on humility arises out of a consciousness of the network of relationships that are necessary for human survival and growth. The humble person recognizes that the development and expression of his or her capacities are contingent upon a host of biological, psychological, and social supports, which, if withdrawn for even a moment, would render the individual impotent: “Completeness of life is possible only in fellowship. No man can complete an enterprise alone and unassisted; the completion of any task demands such fellowship.”3 This recognition of the
—.§Lé
relative powerlessness of the individual is, ironically, empowering—inasmuch as it fosters service on behalf of the whole. As racism, nationalism, and sexism fully attest, where such a consciousness is absent, the whole is frequently sacrificed to support the grandiose delusions of a few. The mounting body of evidence linking male suppositions of superiority to violence against women and girls suggests that the world's religious teachings may contain insights that deserve renewed consideration. Lwt. Shimmel opens his chapter on lust with the following poignant observation: Teenage promiscuity, rape, incest, pornography, prostitution, adultery, sexually transmitted disease, unhappy marriages, and divorce are rampant in our society. In our daily news fate we read of twelve—year-oid children with multiple sex partners, of college students who gang tape a mentally retarded woman, of men who refuse to wear a condom because it will decrease the pleasure of the sexual act even though they may transmit the AIDS virus to partners. Jealous lovers, their lust frustrated by a competitor, commit murder, while in embittered relationships sexual desire is manipulated and used as a tool of vengeance rather than as an ancillary of love. Lust, the unrestrained and unethical expression of the sexual impulse, is a major cause of such problem behaviors.“ Numerous studies on the epidemiology of gender-based violence reveal the extent to which unbridled passions impact upon the lives of women and girls across the planet. And while it is true that traditional religious teachings about sexuality are deficient in many
44. Schimmel. Stilt" Deadly Sin: 111.
45, Shimmel, Seven Deadly Sins 112.
46. Constance M, Chen. Til: Sex Sid: afLi :: Mar] Ware Dmnm's Pioneering BanltfwBirth Control and Sex Edumn’on (New York: The New Press, 1996) 15.5.
ERADICA’I‘ING GENDER—BASED VIOLENCE 51
ways, it is equally true that the current secular approach is morally vacuous and practically ineffective in helping us to deal with this major source of dysfunction, unhappiness, and disease. A dispassionate review of the data would incline one toward the perspective proEered by Schimmel: Rather than ignoring all that religion has to say about sexuality, marriage, and family because we object to some of its views, we would do better to listen to the plausible values it espouses. These can help us restrain destructive lust and nurture healthy sexuality and love, which produce emotional well-being.“S Since the appearance of Freud’s important work on repression, an increasing number of both Westerners and non—Westetners have come to identify the failure to freely vent the sexual impulse as either pathognomonic of neuroses or indicative of a puritanical ethic. Commenting on the influence of Freud’s ideas, Constance Chen, author of a biography of an early feminist, Mary Ware Dennett, wrote: Freud’s theories first hitAmeriCan intellectuals and professionals at a Clark university lecture in September 1909. The radicals went on to portray a distorted view of Freud to a receptive audience. When Freud stated that repression of the libido led to pathological symptoms of “neurosis,” the bohemians took this to mean that the libido demanded regular and constant expression in explicitly sexual terms—with no limits set. Repression led to illness; mental health required an active sex life. As psychology replaced religion as the new arbiter of human behavior, mental health and illness became the new metaphors for good and evil. Thus, to be “good,” one had to be mentally healthy, one had to be sexually active. Since human beings were polymorphousiy perverse, sexual activity did not have to be limited. . . . This take on Freud burst asunder all past restraints.“6
52 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
Among those who were to become advocates of this misreading of Freud was the psychoanalyst Arno Flack. uMan's aggressiveness is not original,” he wrote, “but has been learnt only through frustration of his impulses; and only when his sexuality is no longer suppressed and he is allowed to live out his spontaneous instincts to the full can he achieve true fulfillment.”‘17 After a halfcentury of relatively unrestrained sexual freedom, we may well wish to ask whether such a prescription has provided the anticipated remedy.
For many, Freud’s work rendered human sexual behavior equivalent in purpose and form to sex among primates. When, however, human sexuality is disconnected from a network of metaphysical values, others easily become mete outlets for the expression of impulses and urges. At the height of Freud’s popularity, Pittim Sorokin, the founder of the School of Sociology at Harvard, warned about the danger of an emerging sensate culture. “Sensate mentality,” Sorokin wrote, is founded on the conviction that what we see, hear, taste, and smell is alone real and of value.“ Within such a worldview, a commitment to supersensory, metaphysical values is seen as arising from superstition, and the sensory organs are said to provide the sole and supreme measure of the validity of experience and the value of ideas. An extension of this perspective is reflected in the notion that all values are human constructions that reflect nothing more than the personal proclivities of those who happen to be in power.
The resulting eudaemonic philosophies, Sorokin suggests, give birth quite naturally to indulgence—based societies. In such soci
47. Quoted in Sunguen Oh, “Beyond the Myth of
Love and Sexuality," Master’s Thesis, Landegg Academy, Weinacht, Switzerland, 1999, 4.
48. Pitrim Sorokin, Th: Crisit 11f Our Age (Oxford: One World Publications. 1992) 168.
49. Sotokin, Crisis OfourAg2168.
eties, human beings are rendered equivalent in value to all other objects. They may thus be used in the same way that other objects are used. Under these circumstances the only legitimate constraint on what can or cannot be done is the threat of legal sanctions: If a person has no strong convictions as to what is right and what is wrong, if he does not believe in any God or absolute moral values, if he no longer respects contractual obligations, and, finally, if his hunger for pleasures and sensory Values is paramount, what can guide and control his conduct towards other men? Nothing but his desires and lusts. Under these conditions he loses all rational and moral control, even plain common sense. What can deter him from violating the rights, interests and well—being of other men? Nothing but physical force. How far will he go in his insatiable quest for sensory happiness? He will go as fat as brute force, opposed by that of others, permits. His whole problem of behavior is determined by the ratio between his force and that wielded by others. It reduces itself to a problem of the interplay of physical forces in a system of physical mechanics.” Anger. Anger appears to be the most pervasive of the seven deadly sins. Numerous studies confirm that it plays an important role in assault, Child abuse, murder, and many rapes and in inter-ethnic and international violence. It is important to distinguish between anger that arises from witnessing injustice—for without a sense of righteous indignationY injustice would likely continue unchecked—and the anger that is so often implicated in violence directed against the weaker by the stronger. The latter is a kind of childish anger that emerges when one does not get what one wants. This form of anger is the source of instrumental and emotionbased violence perpetrated too often by men against women and girls. As Schimmel observes, envy, pride, and
[Page 53]
high material or perceived status expectations
render individuals particularly susceptible to
anger because they lower the threshold for
teal or perceived injuries. Shimmel goes on
to say that the philosopher Seneca, realizing
this many hundreds of years ago, counseled:
“The boy will never be angry at someone
being counted equal to himself, whom you
have from the first treated as an equal.”
Shimmel also observes that Seneca olfeted
guidelines for rearing children that would
decrease the probability of raising itascible
adults: “The child, says Seneca, should ‘gain
no request by anger; when he is quiet let him
be offered what was refused when he wept.’
In modern terms, reinforce the child’s mild
behavior and never his angry responses or
tantrums.”50
The moral philosophers endeavored to
weaken the influence of anger by cultivating
those qualities that are incompatible with it.
Love, humility, patience, forbearance, fotgiveness, compassion, and empathy ate all
antidotes to anger and keep it in check. In
the void created by the absence of these virtues,
many forms of anget-induced atrocities are
likely to emerge. Again, Shimmel quotes
Seneca:
Moreover, if you choose to view its results
and the harm of it, no plague has cost the
human race more dear. . . . Behold the
most glorious cities whose foundations can
scarcely be ttaced—anger cast them down,
Behold solitudes stretching lonely for many
miles without a single dweller—anger laid
them waste. Behold all the leaders who
have been handed down to posterity as
instances of an evil fate—anget stabbed
this one in his bed, struck down this one
amid the sanetities of the feast, tote this
50. Shimmel, Scum Deadly Sin: 93.
SL Seneca. quoted in Sehimmel, Seven Deadly Si,” 96—97.
52. lraj Ayman, ed-, A New Framtwark filr Mom! Edumn'on (Germany: Ast—i-Jadl'd Publisher, 1993) 15.
ERADICA’I‘ING GENDER—BASED VIOLENCE 53
one to pieces in the very home of the law and in full view of the crowded forum, Forced this one to have his blood spilled by the murderous act of his son, another to have his limbs stretched upon the cross. And hitherto I have mentioned the sufferings of individual persons only; what if . . . you should choose to view the gatherings cut down by the sword, the populace butchered by soldiety let loose upon them, and whole peoples condemned to death in common ruin.SI
The Nature of Moral Education EVEN a brief review of basic spiritual teachings reveals their relevance to solving the global problem of gendet—based Violence and abuse. While it is equally possible to generate a list of ways in which religious and spiritual teachings have been invoked to justify acts of violence and gender-disctimination, to this charge one can only reply that every human tool, every human power, may be used for good or ill. The challenge of maturity facing every society is to discover how it may best use all of its resources to advance itself toward realizing its goals—in this case eradieating gendet—based violence.
An approach to moral education that nuttures in children and youth a hunger for moral and spiritual growth while also developing morally relevant capacities is likely to be more effective in eliminating the root cause of abuses of power in the family, the community, and the State than are approaches that focus only on transmitting moral lessons or rules. As has been suggested, what is needed is the development of an inner agent of selfconttol that encourages right action because of its own inherent beauty. Iraj Ayman, a scholar specializing in moral philosophy, refers to this capacity as the capacity for “spiritual discernment.”52 According to educator Irene Taafaki, developing spiritual discernment requires that institutions around the world promote moral growth. The role of educa ('
54 WORLD ORDER: SPRING 2001
tors is to use a variety of processes to nurture children and youth to go beyond knowing what constitutes moral ideas to developing moral insight and practicing moral behavior, the goal being to develop moral wisdom, rather than a tote following of rules. Moral wisdom then becomes the “inner lens” through which children are able both to discern what is right and to do those things that enhance the well-being of their own self and others.53
A pedagogy of moral education, notes Taafaki, would include active learning rather than the passive inculcation of moral lessons; a loving and encouraging environment wherein educators demonstrate in their own lives the qualities they wish to teach; using the arts, literature, and folklore from the various cultural and religious communities around the world; and cooperative learning exercises that enable children and young people of diverse backgrounds to work together in exploring and resolving a range of socially and morally relevant problems. The promotion of a spirit of service to humanity is an integral part of the pedagogy of moral education. Such service enables children and youth to enhance their understanding of the relevance of moral behavior for the development and solidarity of family and community, and for the cultivation of a sense of “at—oneness” with others.“
In its recent commentary, The Prosperity of Humankina’, the Bahá’í International Community notes:
53. Irene Taafaki, “A Pedagogy for Moral Education,” in Ayman, ed., New Framtwnrl’ 43.
54. Irene Taafaki, “A Pedagogy for Moral Education," in Ayman, ed‘, New Framewurl’ 41—51.
55. Bahá’í International Community, The Prosperity afHumankind(Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1996) l.
56. Bahá’í International Community, Pmperity Of Human/zx'nd 1.
To an extent unimaginable a decade ago, the ideal of world peace is taking on form and substance. Obstacles that long seemed immovable have collapsed in humanity's path; apparently irreconcilable conflicts have begun to surrender to processes of consultation and resolution; a willingness to counter military aggression through unified international action is emerging. The effect has been to awaken in both the masses of humanity and many world leaders a degree of hopefulness about the future of our planet that had been nearly extinguished.‘5 The Bahá’í International Community goes further to note that immense intellectual and spiritual energies are seeking expression throughout the world and that “ [e]verywhere the signs multiply that the earth’s people yearn for an end to conflict and to the suffering and ruin from which no land is any longer immune. These rising impulses for change must be seized upon and channeled into overcoming the remaining barriers that block realization of the age—old dream of global peacew’ It may reasonably be argued that few barriers to peace stand so strongly as does the global problem of gender-based violence. Over the course of the foregoing century, legal and human-rights advocates have been mobilized effectively in the global campaign to eradicate it. The bevy of international laws, conventions, declarations, and resolutions articulated over the last half century in particular attest to the importance of the legal victories achieved in advancing women’s human rights. What is needed now is an awakening and mobilization of humanity‘s hunger for moral and spiritual refinement. When these inner dimensions of human life receive the same attention that has thus far been accorded the outer legal dimensions, a context will be created in which the eradication of genderbased abuses, and the advancement of women and girls in all fields of human endeavor, will finally be realized.
—%
Sahara, my sister
the Sahara was a woman who died of grief, you can see the shape of her in the swell Of the land, the arroyos where the hot (ears wore tracks across her face until she lay empty, and found dying a proper resort.
from her wild barrenncss, her bereaved abandonment, she calls to me, “Sister!" and i hear her and answer, though years lie between us, Sahara, my sister, i listen, i grieve.
——Dia.ne Huff
Copyrigh: c) 2001 lay Dmuc Huff
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TruthTelling and Healing Families: An Analysis of ThomasVinterberg’s The Celebration
BY CAREN ROSENTHAL AND LElLI TOWFIGH
THE Celebration (Fettm), a 1998 film by Danish director Thomas Vinterberg, recounts a story of suffering, disclosure, and response, illustrating in 106 minutes the transformation that can result when long—hidden stories about family violence are told. The Celebratiun joins several other recent films about family secrets and violence, such as Mike Leigh’s Secret: and Lies and Barbra Streisand’s Prime of 7742:. These films show concrete ways in which remembering, recounting, and having someone listen and believe can transform families. Yet they also provoke questions about justice, forgiveness, and the role of individuals, families, and communities in responding to violence, inviting viewers to reflect on the possibility of Creating new family systems that embrace equality and defend the rights of Children.
Whether seen in popular media or on the daily news, violence is prevalent and can seem intractable. How do we avoid a sense of hopelessness when frequently assaulted with stories of school shootings, the sexual abuse of children, and other forms of victimization too numerous to mention? The Celebration and other films like it propose both problems and resolutions, emphasizing that family violence is complex and has no easy answers. The film offers an uncompromising look at the events that unfold at a family reunion, including the revelation of a secret and the guests' responses to that secret. Vinterberg’s use of hand-held cameras and other documentary—like techniques invites viewers into the family’s intimate circle. We are challenged to grapple with what is destroyed and what can be rebuilt when long-hidden secrets finally come out.
Disclosure, Response, and Change THE central event of Th2 Celebration is a gathering to mark the sixtieth birthday of the Klingenfeldt family patriarch, Helge. From the beginning of the film
l Copyright © 2001 by Caren Rosenthal and Leili Towfigh.
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it is clear that this family suffers under the weight of untold secrets. Helge and his wife, Elsa, project a gracious image for their guests, but we learn that their daughter Linda has recently committed suicide and that the remaining children—Christian, Michael, and Helene—have dysfunctional lives that are barely maintained, if at all, for the sake of appearances. At times the film progresses like a sped—up series of psychotherapy sessions, revealing the aggression, violent speech, and unhealthy sexual attitudes that pervade the family. There is a coherence t0 the narrative, but at first it feels as though significant parts of the story are ominously missing, leaving one wondering what is really happening. Visual elements involving water, drowning, and dreaming artfully repeat themselves, though these, too, suggest missing pieces. Yet as the family’s story is more fully disclosed—and more onlookers come to believe it and share their own recollections—the disparate pieces of which we have seen glimpses begin to make sense.
As guests gather and an elegant dinner is served, the eldest son, Christian, rises, ostensibly to toast his father. Instead, in a strangely calm manner he announces that his father repeatedly raped him and his now—deceased twin sister throughout their childhood.
Christian’s family responds to this announcement by maligning him as “sick" and “sad.” His father first ignores, then ridicules him. His mother demands a public apology, in response to which Christian says he is “sorry" that she witnessed his father raping him: “Sorry you had to see that. Sorry he told you to get out. Sorry you did so.” His brother and other guests throw him out of the house, beat him, and tie him to a tree in the woods. Helge’s own parents attempt to come to his defense. The children's grandfather shares a story of their father’s exploits with women. Their grandmother chooses a chilling moment to sing a song about a forest where “sorrows are stilled" and “peace and rest . . . reign,” while we see a hazy, ironic shot of Christian alone in the woods, struggling to free himself from the tree to which he has been tied. This “crucifixion” is Christian’s punishment for saying things his listeners
cannot bear to heart
There are intimations, however, that at least one person, Helene’s African , American boyfriend, Gbatokai, has heard the truth in Christian’s disclosure. When Michael returns from tying his brother to a tree, Gbatokai raises his glass in a defiant toast to the absent Christian. Gbatokai’s insistent focus on the truth in Christian’s statements incites Michael to angrily silence him, leading the table in a passionate round of Danish racist songs. Unable to bear either the songs or the growing realization that hidden secrets are now coming out, Helene runs, sick, from the room. When she asks for some medicine, Pia, a maid at the estate, finds something else in the pill bottle-Linda’s hidden suicide note. Helene had found it earlier, read it, and refusing to “believe" it, stuffed it back into the vial. The re-surfaced truth, written down and verified, becomes the medicine Helene needs. She returns to the table and rises to take her turn to speak, reading the letter aloud to the guests (who are,
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TRUTH TELLING AND HEALING FAMILIES
amazingly, still gathered in the dining room). Her father tries to deny even this damning evidence, until his final, vigorous attempt to discredit his children’s story becomes his confession of guilt‘
Truth and Reconciliation HELGE'S admission is a turning point~in the film and in the family. In Freud’s theory of repetition Compulsion, individuals unconsciously reenact actions and events, but in the “wrong" contexts, and with increasing insistence.l Once the trigger event is understood and synthesized, the compulsion to repeat recedesi There is a similar receding of the increasingly desperate scufiles and violent efforts to silence that we have seen in so many guises up until this point in the film.
PsychiatristJudith Herman, in her 1992 Pauma andRemvmy: TheAflermat/J of Violenre—Fram Domtxtir Abuse to Political Error, describes the power of long—silenced stories: “Equally as powerful as the desire to deny atrocities is the conviction that denial does not work. Folk wisdom is filled with ghosts who refuse to rest in their graves until their stories are told.”Z Christian’s story refuses to rest, though the vigor of others’ disbelief threatens to overwhelm his disclosure. While Herman states that “remembering and telling the truth about terrible events are prerequisites both for the restoration of the social order and for the healing of individual victims,” there is no assurance that the telling will not at first upset that order and be met with disbelief, denial, and even violence.3 Christian’s disclosure both heals and upsets; his persistent efforts to have his story be heard and accepted serve as the catalyst For breaking down an old system of dysfunction. By insisting on telling the truth (rather than, say, cutting all ties with his family forever or playing along with the Charade of family stability), his actions provide a foundation for a new, strengthened family system.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the glimpse of truth Christian provides does not bring immediate reconciliation. While the psychological health of the Klingenfeldt children seems to improve after Helge admits what he has dotie, that is not the end of it; the parents are pained and humiliated, and, according to Michael, the family is “broken." As evidenced in efforts such as the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission, “truth telling” unavoidably raises the question of “Whose truth?” A November 1997 article in The Enmomist about the Truth Commission observes: “Painful and moving as these stories were—and helpful as it may have been for the victims to tell them, their suffering acknowledged at last—they posed more questions than an l, Sigmund Freud, Btyand the I’ltamrt Principle, cdi James Sttachey (New York: Norton, 1990). passim‘
2, Judith Herman. Trauma andRummy: Tthfitrmatly Of Vialmte—Fram Domenic Abuse tn Palitiml Termr (New Yotk: Basic Books, 1997) 1.
3. Herman, Trauma nndRuouay 1.
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swets.”4 Similarly in The Celebration, while disclosure has set the stage for individual healing and the restoration of safety and health to the family, different versions of the story are “true” for different individuals. Yet questions still remain. What should the family do next? How should its members act? A flawed system has been dismantled, but what should be put in its place?
juxtite and Forgiveness THE next morning the Klingenfeldts survey what has been dismantled and begin to rebuild. As they gather for breakfast, we see each family member acting in a new way. Instead of Christian’s repeated speeches, the only speaker in the morning is a eontrite Helge. In contrast to the opening scene of the film in which Michael needs room to give his brother a tide, and has no problem violently forcing his children and wife out of the cat to walk to the estate, at breakfast he shows active concern For his children’s protection. He calls them away from Helge’s lap before telling his father to leave the room, a request with which Helge immediately complies. Christian, who has been involved with Pia Casually for a long time, but has been ridiculed by his father for not being able to commit to a woman, invites her to come to live with him in Paris. Elsa, who had been loyal to the point of sacrificing her children’s welfare, refuses Helge’s invitation to accompany him when he leaves the room.
The morning-after scene illustrates changes that in real families might take months or years to implement. In the film we see an almost unbelievable transformation that would require extreme patience and perseverance to bring about in reality. As Helge walks out of the room under the gaze of his wife and children, there is a sense that his knowledge of what he has done—and his understanding of how he cannot change it—is a severe punishment. While the children initially responded to Helge’s admission with anger and violence, now they seem to have last their hunger to make Helge pay. Whether it is because they see real improvement in the family—or they are just exhausted from the fight—this calming point in the film raises profound questions about the distinctions between punishment and vengeance. Are Helge’s disclosure and acknowledgment of guilt sufficient, or is further punishment necessary? Would the children be justified in taking revenge on their father? Should they seek to humiliate the man who humiliated them?
In a passage about “The Right Method of Treating Criminals,” ‘Abdu’l-Bahá warns against vengeance and delineates the purpose of punishment: “The communities must punish the oppressor, the murderer, the malefactor, so as to warn and restrain others from committing like crimes.”5 He distinguishes between the responsibilities of a society and those of individuals. Society’s role
4. The Erommist, “Burying South Africa‘s Past: Of memory and Forgiveness" 1 Nov. 1997: 3, 5. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, SomeAmwered Qumiam, comp. and trans. Laura Clilford Barney, lst ps ed. (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1984) 268.
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is to protect and punish; the role of individuals is to forgive. If society is not functioning in a protective and corrective role, and there are no consequences for acts of aggression, the social order is not functioning on just terms, and individuals may be left feeling at a loss about what to do and how to respond. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá’ continues, saying that the constitution of the communities depends upon justice, not upon forgiveness. Then what Christ meant by forgiveness and pardon is not that, when nations attack you, burn your homes, plunder your goods, assault your wives, children and relatives, and violate your honor, you should be submissive in the presence of these tyrannical foes and allow them to perform all their cruelties and oppressions. No, the words of Christ refer to the conduct of two individuals toward each other: if one person assaults another, the injured one should forgive him. But the communities must protect the rights of man.“ There are plentiful examples of those who seek to take vengeance, but this is not what The Celebration seems to advocate as a solution. Instead, it suggests that the effort and potential discomfort involved in seeking to learn the truth—and live with the consequences—is worthwhile because the results seem beneficial to the family. Before Christian's disclosure, the Klingenfeldts had a pattern in place of how to interact with each other, yet it was infected with violence and dysfunction. Now a new system is emerging, but all must work to strengthen and sustain it.
Dogme 95 and Bearing \Vimess THE RAW, almost crude technical style of TI]: Celebratian echoes its unflinching content. Its director Vinterberg is one of the cofounders (along with Lars von Trier) of Dogme 95, a director’s manifesto designed to Counter affected and overwrought tendencies in modern film production. Renouncing techniques such as tripods, artificial lighting, and props beyond what exist on location, the Dogme 95 filmmakjng rules (or “vows of chastity") experiment with a less processed approach to storytelling, stressing spontaneity and the inner lives of the characters.
One of the vows states, “my supreme goal is to force the truth out of my characters and settings; I swear to do so by all the means available and at the cost of any good taste and any aesthetic considerations." Vinterberg has said that Dogme 95 was his attempt to reach the “naked film” underneath, which he says has been “dying in the embrace of cosmetics.” In the case of The Celebratian the removal of filmmaking artifice makes way for us to witness the breakdown of human artifice in the story’s characters. When Christian first makes his announcement, there is no background music, no slow, dramatic zoom on his face—just his voice, the guests’ silence, and the clink of forks
J V gir‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Sam Amwmd Qutm'om 270—71.
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and glasses. We get an unencumbered sense of his fear and relief and of the guests’ shock and disbelief. Nothing detracts from what Christian is saying; it is almost as if his disclosure was caught on video by a guest.
While the film does not seek to influence through artifice, it does employ devices that encourage a feeling of empathy with the characters and draw viewers into the story. Helene finds Linda’s suicide note by playing a game they played as children, “getting warmer,” whereby a series of clues brings one closer to the hidden object. We are asked throughout The Celebration to play a similar game. As more details are revealed, we start to piece together the family’s story. The film’s unadotned production style further connects viewer with plot. This intimate connection places us inside the story and encourages reflection on the same questions with which the characters struggle.
The Relationship of Change: in the Family
to Change: in the World
FILMS such as The Celebration contribute to an increasingly audible dialogue on the need for transformation in the current moral and psychological climate of the family. They posit new ways of looking at traumatic events within families without either sensationalizing them or seeking to tidy the complexity of the responses. The use of media to catalyze reflection and dialogue on these subjects seems particularly important at a time when violence—particularly against women and children—can seem ubiquitous and solutions inscrutable.
Christian’s persevering efforts to find a solution to his family’s heretofore inscrutable problem yield results during the course of the film. Though his family attempts to discredit and actually harm him, by the end his truth is verified, and the culture of the family has changed. Once seen as possible within the context of the family, which ‘Abdu’l-Bahá calls “a nation in miniature,” it begins to seem more probable that change can happen in the world.7 Yet to bring it about requires effort,
The Universal House of Justice, in its 1985 statement on world peace, sets forth the idea that as individuals and as communities, we have a choice about the path to peace. Peace is inevitable, but we can come to it through an “act of consultative will,” or we can come to it through having to experience “unimaginable horrors.”8 Beating witness to the unimaginable horrors one family goes through in The Celehmtian leaves one with a feeling of having been wanted. The questions that arise and new patterns of thought and action that emerge in the film encourage reflection on personal choices and collective systems that can lead past the tangle of denial and humiliation toward peace.
7. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Th: Promulgation af Uniwrml Peace: 771th Delivered by thu’l—Bahd during Hi5 Visit to Ih! UnitedSmm and Canada in 1912, comps Howard MacNutt, 2d ed. (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1982) 157.
8. The Universal House of Justice, The Promise Of Writ! Peace: To the Peoples af th: W/arld (Wilmette, IL: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1985) l.
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since people are buried in my psyche . . .
since people are buried in my psyche . . . i dream of crowds
agnu: dei
slaughter of the innocents
sugar the world
must i carry people in the crevices of my brain
from unknown places
to the streets of the city
where are written down
upon the sidewalks
holy books
and the names of the prophets
—Florence DiPasquale Kindel
Copyright © 2001 by Florence DiI’mqual: Kindc]
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Authors 8C Artists
DIANE HUFF, an MBA candidate at Golden Gate University and a World Order editor, is a development supervisor at CTB/ McGraw-Hill. she taught English as a second language for twenty years at Universidad Rafael Urdaneta in Venezuela.
FLORENCE DIPASQUALE KINDEL, a poet and painter, holds an M.EA. degree from the School of Visual Arts in New York,
MICHAEL L. PENN, Associate Professor of Psychopathology at Franklin St Marshall College, received his PhD. in clinical psychology from Temple University. He has published on the epidemiology of gender—based violence, the relationship between culture and psychopathology, and race issues. He recently completed a twoyear stint as the vice—rector of academic affairs at Landegg International University in Switzerland.
MONICA RELLER, a poet and award-winning collage artist, writes newspaper articles, teaches piano and voice, reflexology, and natural—vision techniques.
CAREN ROSENTHAL received her Master's degree in public health from the Boston University School of Public Health. Her research interests include gender and development and displaced people and refugee health. She is completing an internship with the United Nations Development Fund for Women where she has been investigating the effects of violence against women on the HIV/AIDS pandemic in various regions of Asia and Africa.
MARTHA L. SCHWEITZ, Director of the US. Bahá’í’ Office of Governance Studies, holds a J.D. from New York University School of Law. She recently returned with her family to the U.S. from Japan where she was a Fulbright lecturer and, later, a professor of international law at Seinan Gakuin University in Fukuoka. Her publications include, most recently, an essay on women’s rights in the Bahá’í community published in volume 3 of Wm”; and International Human Rights Law.
LEILI TOWFIGH received her M.Ed. degree from Harvard University where she specialized in the use of technology, media, and the arts in education. Her research interests include the moral and social development of children and adolescents and representations ofsociety in the media. She is a senior research fellow at the Center for Reflective Community Practice in the Department of Urban Studies and Planning at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
ART CREDITS: Cover design, John Solarz, cover photograph, Stan Phillips; p. 1, photograph by Steve Garrigues; p. 3, illustration (Village Spring, 1990) by Feng Bin; pp. 8, 32, 56, photographs by Steve Garrigues.
